Could I be bisexual?

Wow. Okay, I have never spoken to ANYONE about this. Not my family, not my friends, not my psychiatrist, not anybody. It is hard for me to put this stuff in words. I don't know if anyone will understand. I've thought for a long time I may be bisexual. I have never ever dated a woman or been in any kind or a sexual relationship with a woman. I've never kissed a woman. I've never wanted to be in a relationship with a woman. I want the typical heterosexual life. I want to marry a man, have a couple kids, a great job, a few pets, a house, the works. That is the life I picture for myself. I am attracted to men. I've been in love with 2 men (not at the same time!). Still, I know I am attracted to women, too. Since I was a kid I've had crushes on some of my girlfriends. I've fantasized about beautiful women just as much as I've fantasized about men. I first really began to notice this attraction to women when I developed quite a crush on Michelle Kwan (World Champion Figure Skater) and later an even more powerful crush on Eden Riegel (Actress who played Bianca Montgomery on All My Children). I just think she's the most beautiful woman on the planet. I've heard that it isn't unusual for straight people to have celebrity crushes on members of the same sex but its also been friends I know in person. Plus, I find pictures of women just as arousing as pictures of men.

Thing is, I have some friends who say there is no such thing as bisexual. They say that a so called bisexual is either a heterosexual who likes to experiment or a homosexual who is still clinging to the possibility of a straight lifestyle. I also have 3 female bisexual friends who all kinda fit that first one. All are VERY sexually active and don't seem to get into relationships with men or women - they just like to have sex with lots of people. This is definitly not me. I am a virgin. Most people don't believe that because I am 27 but it is true. Between some psychological/sexual hangups that make me uncomfortable with sexual touching, I also was raised with a strong belief that you have sex when you marry and you only have sex with that person, ever. I want that to be a man. I'm not fighting my attraction to women, I'm just focusing on my attraction to men - since it is equal and I don't feel the need to persue every person I find attractive, I feel this is an okay choice... still, I just wonder whether I fit the label "bisexual" or if most people are attracted to both and just pick who they want more. I'm kinda confused and have been for a very long time. Just thought maybe some people could give me a little insight.

I'm so scared just to post this. I don't know why, I just am. It's like I'm admitting, not just to other people, but to myself, something I've been in denial about my whole life. Please help.

I think if you have never experienced either you don't know for sure which you would be. curious maybe with hetero and bi is more of a way to put it.

I say, scrap the idea of trying to label yourself or letting other people label you. Explore your feelings and follow your curiosity, and you may find that achieving some of your goals might become less important than being the person you want to be.

You're not alone in this, and it's nothing to be embarrassed by.

And who cares what the label is? Just be the best You you can be.

Don´t worry, if you fall in love you fall in love. My brother is bisexual. He has been married to a woman and have kids. When he is singel he dates both men and women. He hasn´t really been in a long term relationship with a man though (at least not yet).
My neigbour is a lesbian and she is married (to a woman) and have two kids and lives a completely normal suburban family life.
You can choose whatever you want :-)

Yeah, guess you guys are right. Whether or not I have feelings for just men or both men and women, I have the right to persue what I really want. I really want husband, kids, that kinda life. And since I know I'm not a lesbian, I'm not lying to myself if I only get involved with men. I really am attracted to both, and thats okay.

an excellent resource for all things bisexual:
http://www.uncharted-worlds.org/bi/

im attracted to females as well so i call myself curious... i dont know if ill act on my curiousity or not though...

I had crushes on my teachers and other older women growing up; I think it is part of becoming a woman and looking for role models, mentoring figures, etc. If you don't feel anything "sexual" toward them, just want to be "with" them or talk to them or wish they'd notice you, etc. I think that's a typical wanting help with the difficult part of maturing. I still wish I knew an older, "wiser" woman :-) who could advise me and that would make me feel I'm okay and doing things "right".

Well, there are sexual feelings associated with it for me. Both with attractive men and attractive women. Truth is I just don't want to have sex with anyone right now... I believe in having sex with your spouse/lifepartner and thats it. No fooling around with multiple people. And the thing is, I'm guessing when women have sex with women they have oral sex which scares the you-know-what out of me, and kinda grosses me out. I don't want to give it to a man or a woman and I don't want to receive it from a man or a woman. I don't know why I even care whether or not I'm bisexual considering these things... I mean, if I never plan on being with a woman, does it really matter whether or not I'm turned on by them sometimes? I guess it doesn't matter... I'm just curious more than anything about what my feelings mean, you know?

LizardL8y,

I think that you answered your own question, if the sexual practices of homosexual women grosses you out then you are most certainly not homosexual or bisexual.

I also believe it is very common for women to find other women attractive. I tell my husband if I ever have the opportunity to be with Angelia Jolie, I'm gone, and he replies that the same thing applies if he would ever have the opportunity to be with LL Cool J. (Of course I may have to wrestle him for LL because he's hot too).

I am 100% heterosexual and so is he, but attractive people are attractive people.

I'm not sure I agree with the sexual practice comfort level meaning one is/isn't bi or gay. I am not of the opinion that sexuality has as much to do with gender preference as does wanting intimacy from a specific gender - emotional and/or physical.

But agreed - attractive people are attractive people. Nicely put!

Sounds like Bi-sexuality to me. You have described what i have been feeling all my life. Attracted to both sexes..the fantasizing, the crushes on your girlfriends, the fact that you find "women just as arousing." Take your time and explore the scene. I've been dating both sexes for years. You probably just have the ability to love that special person you were meant for no matter what sex they happen to be. If u have the gift of enjoying both sexes for their beauty then go with it. Go with your Gut..but listen to your Heart. Hope this helped.