[Artchic528]

I understand you can't pick them, and my goal here is certainly not to shame or guilt anyone, but when is it crossing the line of morality and human decency?

A Nazi fetish? Super violent rape fetish? Fetish about gore? Beastiality?

There has to be a point where you say, that's against the law for a reason right?

[Skeezyks]

I've read a number of fetish-related posts here on PC in the past along with what I felt were some very thoughtful & intelligent replies from other members who had dealt with their own fetishes. Based on what I've gleaned from that, my thinking would be that anything in the way of a fetish is okay as long as it can be indulged safely & in private, or with like-minded individuals, so as not to run afoul of the legal system where the person lives.

People who have fetishes are not at fault. They didn't ask for them. And fetishes are devilishly difficult to cure... if they can be cured at all. More often than not, it seems, they simply cannot be. As such concepts such as morality & human decency really don't apply. So... "super violent rape fetish, fetish about gore, bestiality" it all just is what it is. It only becomes an issue if the person who has the fetish "tries to take it out into the society at large", so to speak. Then, of course, it becomes a matter of how whatever the person is doing stacks up against the laws where they live. At least that is my thinking with regard to your post.

[Persephone518]

I think there's a big and very important difference between simply having a fetish and actually indulging in it. The latter is really where ethics and legality come in. Acting on fetishes/kinks is where the motto "safe, sane, consensual" should be applied. Obviously that term is highly subjective and open to interpretation, but a good rule of thumb is to keep all activity between consenting human adults.

I hope that helps answer your question.

Very interesting topic, btw. I'm eager to hear others' thoughts on the subject.

[winter loneliness]

A fetish is a fetish whether illegal, violent or inappropriate. Example rape. Common fetish of both men and women.

Illegal in society, still a common fetish. Doesn't mean you want to be a rapist or a victim.

It is all up to the individual and their partner, whether it will be acted out in a role-play or not.

I'm involved in bdsm. The bdsm community is pretty accepting of all kinks and fetishes provided all parties give consent and are of age.

I should also add that I'm a masochist. Receiving pain is an incredible turn on for me. I think its completely normal.

[winter loneliness]

^ not my thing, but yes, completely normal.

[Patagonia]

As stated above fetishes & kinks can run a broad spectrum. As for myself I do not care, anymore, of the history of where they came from & what reason they connected to me.
In the bdsm culture it’s always preached to be safe, sane & of course consenting. Consent is the ultimate limit.
Even on a very popular fetish site where rape play is heavily discussed there are some that chime in that this is not legal.
But the original poster is looking for answers for their consenting partner. Such as how to conduct a take down or kidnapping scene.

The OP is looking to the community for safe, sane answers from like minded individuals. Not a way to commit a crime.
The tricky part is finding out what exactly is legal where you are. I’ve recently found out that if you’re caught having sex in a car, with another consenting adult (in certain states) that you can be charged with a sexual crime & put on the registry as a sex offender. Even if you’re 2 (or more) consenting adults.
Safety is the most important next to consent. Which is why in the bdsm culture not much is done without a plan.
So something that looks maybe dangerous or not in good taste, out in public, like a dungeon, is all heavily planned with clear headed partners.
So your kink is not my kink, does apply & should be respected. Thankfully we are all wired differently!!!

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

I should also add that I'm a masochist. Receiving pain is an incredible turn on for me. I think its completely normal.

And I love to have a submissive woman who enjoys creative ways to administer pain. I am, however, very much a ‘white bread and mayonnaise’ dom. The man in black who subdues you carefully, in ropes or other devices, and whom you serve in any manner.

I don’t leave scars and I don’t draw blood - and I want you to cum, if you ask for permission.

My idea of bdsm is submission first and pain to follow.

I also have a toe fetish - maybe an entire foot fetish? I don’t know. I had to dash to the men’s room to masturbate after I saw Uma Thurman’s toes in Kill Bill. I love long, distinctly jointed, prehensile toes, and Morton’s Toe (the second toe being the longest) is a must. I find this fetish queer because, when I had feet, I had long, distinctly jointed, prehensile toes and my second toe was the longest. Something narcissistic there, what? This... fetish... developed in high school. Every woman with whom I have had strong relationships have had these types of toes.

I don’t think that my fetishes present a danger to anyone. As others have said, a fetish might remain an unfulfilled longing if it (or they) would be considered repugnant by polite society. Goat-f**king, for example, might be fine for the isolated, lonely shepherd but it’s not something to be done in the public square. Rough rape fantasies (I hesitate to call them fetishes) ], are more the purview of women, I think) can be acted out safely but if the role-playing is not consensual, then it is a no-go.

I really think that what you might call ‘fetishes’ are actually ‘fantasies’ although I would agree that my propensity to dominate and bring pain to a woman and my ‘toe-fetish’ are, in fact, true fetishes.

There are both fetishes and fantasies that, if practiced, are illegal. You need only be a Big Boy to understand that genuine and active pedophilia is wrong. I read of these ‘pedophila rings,’ in which men create and circulate pedophiliac pornography and I am sickened.

You know... I’m not certain that I have sufficient insight into deviance to answer the question. Yes, I would likely enjoy the painful submission of this message. Nothing wrong with that!

Originally Posted by Patagonia

As stated above fetishes & kinks can run a broad spectrum. As for myself I do not care, anymore, of the history of where they came from & what reason they connected to me.
In the bdsm culture it’s always preached to be safe, sane & of course consenting. Consent is the ultimate limit.
Even on a very popular fetish site where rape play is heavily discussed there are some that chime in that this is not legal.
But the original poster is looking for answers for their consenting partner. Such as how to conduct a take down or kidnapping scene.

The OP is looking to the community for safe, sane answers from like minded individuals. Not a way to commit a crime.
The tricky part is finding out what exactly is legal where you are. I’ve recently found out that if you’re caught having sex in a car, with another consenting adult (in certain states) that you can be charged with a sexual crime & put on the registry as a sex offender. Even if you’re 2 (or more) consenting adults.
Safety is the most important next to consent. Which is why in the bdsm culture not much is done without a plan.
So something that looks maybe dangerous or not in good taste, out in public, like a dungeon, is all heavily planned with clear headed partners.
So your kink is not my kink, does apply & should be respected. Thankfully we are all wired differently!!!

Ya know, Patagonia (he said wearing a pair of circa 1988 Patagonia canvas stand-up shorts) you’re one smart cookie! I always find your answers thoughtful and well presented.

Oh, lord. If I had been arrested for every time that I had sex upon the warm-warm hood or the (cooling) trunk, I would be serving a life sentence. Who, I ask, has never enjoyed a nice NJ rural trip without a stop in some disheveled road and f**ked upon the hood or the trunk (personally, each was a seasonal pick for me - the warm-warm hood during the colder months and the trunk for warm to hot days).

I have not made a big effort to find pornography or kink on the internet (and you write of forums alien to me!). Maybe -maybe - last year a friend told me that I should watch pornographic videos at pornhub.com. So I did. The search engine is wonderful... you can find something close to your peculiar tastes readily. As I returned I seemed to find that much of, maybe even a majority of, the porn was, in some way, generated by and starring ‘amateurs.’ The worst of it - to my mind - was the scripted but amateur productions ‘starring’ the same individuals again and again. And then there are the truly amateur actors who use a high-res video cams to film themselves or have ‘cameramen.’ And the top tier, I guess, might be lovely amateur actors loving filmed and released as a semi-pro-amateur videos. The best/worst might be that filmed with a smartphone in a vertical position.

I had my fill of pornhub.com awhile back. But, yes, point me in the direction of the kinky forums that you write of!

[Patagonia]

Ciderguy,
I’m talking about FetLife.com. It’s active bdsm community has over 5 million members. I’m not sure if you need an invite anymore to become a member, but the wealth of information there....well it has a great deal.
It was under some heavy scrutiny in January bec of political issues & there’s been some “changes”, but it survived. It is NOT a dating site. I’ve heard some call it the bdsm Facebook & ive done a great deal of reading & talking to other like minded members there.
It’s also full of trolls, creeps, scammers & various others like any other site. Depends on what you’re looking for.
Enjoy!
And thank you for the compliment too!

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Ciderguy,
I’m talking about FetLife.com. It’s active bdsm community has over 5 million members. I’m not sure if you need an invite anymore to become a member, but the wealth of information there....well it has a great deal.
It was under some heavy scrutiny in January bec of political issues & there’s been some “changes”, but it survived. It is NOT a dating site. I’ve heard some call it the bdsm Facebook & ive done a great deal of reading & talking to other like minded members there.
It’s also full of trolls, creeps, scammers & various others like any other site. Depends on what you’re looking for.
Enjoy!
And thank you for the compliment too!

Fetlife is fantastic. A great way to chat with likeminded people. Nearly anything you can think of is found on there.

[Veeda]

I have been trying in vain to figure out what triggers a fetish and how can one get over and get rid of it? It causes a serious level of distress and I can’t figure out why it exist in the first place; add OCD in the mix and it’s very distressing

[Artchic528]

Why is a fetish something to get rid of? It's human nature, ya know.

[Veeda]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Why is a fetish something to get rid of? It's human nature, ya know.

It’s been digging me since pre adolescence....it waxed and waned but at times it has been unbearable....

[winter loneliness]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Why is a fetish something to get rid of? It's human nature, ya know.

Then why did you start the thread? This is in direct opposition to your original post.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

Then why did you start the thread? This is in direct opposition to your original post.

This thread is about when a fetish is no longer considered a fetish, but has crossed the line into being a crime or something darker. I never mentioned anything that indicated that said fetishes were unhealthy at all, so long as all parties involved are consenting, and definitely didn't suggest that the person who has them should be shamed. I even mentioned that I wasn't about shaming anyone in the original post.