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#1
Nov 07, 2016, 11:37 AM
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Lately during sex, like right in the middle of it my boyfriend will lose his erection. And it'll happen multiple times during sex. We've had sex 5 times in the past 3 days and every time he lost his erection. he came two times, while he was soft. i'm trying to be relaxed about it, i put no pressure on him, we take the time. When we briefly talked about it he said, maybe i'm just tired. But i think it's more than that. This has never been an issue. We've beeen having sex for 8 months and this has never happened once. Some background information; a week ago we got into a fight. He ignored me for a little and i got irritated and sent him a slew of texts. I lost my temper. I said some very hurtful things. He was upset. I'm bipolar. And i'm pregnant. I'm having a depressive episode at this time and i have been for a while. My boyfriend has assaulted me before. Multiple times, emotionally and physically. As i kept giving him chances and choices, he chose to change. And he has. Now i'm depressed and in this deep depression i have become the person i am not. Complaining, stressing, anxious. He says he fell in love with someone else. He says i used to be cool and relaxed. What happened between us, it's made me this way. Sorry for all the extra stuff i thought it might have something do with this.
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 Lost_in_the_woods, Skeezyks
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#2
Nov 07, 2016, 03:56 PM
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Hello snowbunny888: I'm sorry you & your bf are having this difficulty.
 From what you wrote, it sounds as though your bf's inability to maintain an erection is just one of a number of problems that exist between the two of you. Your bf's problem is likely due to stress / anxiety. This is one of those things that, the more it happens, the more a guy worry about it. And the more he worries about it, the worse it gets.  It's a vicious circle, as the saying goes.  I don't know if your bf is seeing a therapist. But this is probably what is going to be necessary in order for him to resolve what is going on with him. Some couples counseling for the two of you may also be beneficial assuming you plan to stay together. (You mentioned your bf saying he fell in love with someone else. I wasn't sure if you meant he's now in love with another woman, or if you meant that he feels you're not the same person he fell in love with.)  You mentioned your bf has been both emotionally & physically abusive in the past & that you're also struggling with depression as well as being pregnant. (Hopefully you're getting some therapy services yourself.) You know, having a newborn in the home is going to increase the tension exponentially. So, from my perspective, I think it's going to be very important for you & your bf to start working on the issues you have between you as soon as possible. Anyway... I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks!  I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.  PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become.  Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting! 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
 t0rtureds0ul
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#3
Nov 08, 2016, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
I think that everything in the relationship has affected him. My advice is to begin couples counseling. As the two of you learn to deal with issues in a civil manner, rather than going nuclear with each other, I expect that he will begin to have fewer problems with his erections. |
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#4
Dec 15, 2016, 05:10 PM
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Hey snowbunny888,
I can understand your feelings, I can give you a product which is really good for that kind of problems and the product name is Manix Extreme. One of my friends is facing same kind of situation but after taking one month Manix, He told me he has a lot of improvement with their sexual health. |
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#5
Jan 04, 2018, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
Don't worry too much about it. This happened the first few times my bf and I had sex. Turned out it was just nerves/performance anxiety, and it stopped happening after the first few times. My advice would be to have a bit of a chat about it, don't make him feel as though you're disappointed - try and keep it light-hearted, and say there's nothing to worry about. Tell him how great the other stuff (i.e. foreplay etc.) that he does for you is, and that he really has nothing to worry about in terms of being able to please you. This worked for me 
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#6
Jan 04, 2018, 11:04 PM
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I’m not sure the above advice is correct....”don’t worry about it.”
There’s major red flags running thru this post! You’ve stated that you’re PREGNANT & this boyfriend has emotionally & physically ASSAULTED you!!!! Hello!!!! You’re worried about an erection problem? Really? God I feel old
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"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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