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joey99
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Location: australia
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Default Jan 29, 2018 at 01:21 AM
  #1
I never want to have sex with my boyfriend anymore... he doesn’t turn my on or anything for the past year. During this time every time I’d freak out about not wanting to have sex with him I’d think I’m bi ? And felt as though some girls turned me on which made me panic even more. I know being gay or bi or being attracted to whatever attracts you isn’t wrong. But I don’t want hay for me, I want to be with a man and be sexually attracted to men and long story short want to be heterosexual. I’m just freaking out because I want to know why I’m feeling this way. It’s taking over my life
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Smile Jan 29, 2018 at 02:47 PM
  #2
Hello joey: We here on PC cannot diagnose you. And, honestly, I personally don't think there's enough detail in your post for anyone to offer much in the way of perspective. The fact that your bf doesn't turn you on doesn't, in my opinion, mean anything with regard to your sexual orientation or your mental health. From my perspective it just means either you're no longer attracted to him or your relationship needs work.

I personally don't think that the fact some girls turn you on is necessarily of any great significance either. I believe it is perfectly possible for a person to be completely heterosexual but still find some members of their own gender to be exciting. So, unless there is more to this than what you wrote here, I would say relax. All is well... except perhaps with regard to your relationship with your current bf.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

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amicus_curiae
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Default Jan 29, 2018 at 11:57 PM
  #3
Gee. I’m bisexual - I’ve always been bisexual, even before I heard the word.

I don’t know your age (? I’m ancient!) but I believe that we all want to be accepted into what is held out as normal to our society and you seem desperate in clinging to heterosexuality. No harm there, maybe, but if heterosexual sex doesn’t ring your bell, what’s a girl to do?

Is there a reason for your fierce attempt to hang on to your heterosexuality? Why do you have such a fear of bisexuality or even (cursed) homosexuality? Bisexuality is the greater curse, probably, but it can work.

If you’re making the unusual leap from unfulfilling sex with your boyfriend to the horror of being bisexual, well, I mean, that’s kind of odd?

Why the panic? Of being turned on by girls, I mean?

Just my op, but I believe that you need to go beyond panic mode and give your situation some genuine rational thought... connect the dots between unsatisfactory sex with your boyfriend to the leap of your fear of being bisexual. The case might be that it’s your boyfriend that doesn’t satisfy your needs?

I’m just advising that you slow down a bit and get past the panic and try to give your situation some rational thought.

I notice that this is your first message. I hope that you’ll be back... less panicked, less freaked out, the next time.

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