Dissociation During Sex with Husband- Is this a Big Deal?

I'm needing some help understanding what's going on and deciding if what's happening is a "big deal" or how much attention/worry it warrants. I'll start by saying I have experienced childhood emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse, but never csa or an assault, or anything along those lines.

I have been with my now husband for almost 10 years. Sex was easy and enjoyable for many years, but around 3 years ago took a real turn. I now find myself consistently dissociating to get through it, and it's causing problems with my husband. He has a very high drive, and I really have to force myself into it in order to meet his bare minimum needs.

He has never and would never use physical force, but he does push and pressure. He will shut down or become really distant if I say no. He asks almost every day, and gives me a lot of unwanted sexual attention. I have at times told him that I really don't want to, but if he needs to he can. At these times, we have had sex.

I dread sex almost constantly, and don't enjoy it. I'm working with my therapist to understand what's happening in my relationship, and how much it's affecting me. I want to tell myself it's not that big of a deal, and that I can get through it just by forcing myself, but I also know that it's taking a huge toll on me and my relationship.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Please let me know!!!

Hi, welcome to psych central. Im sorry I dont understand, when you call it diassociating. It sounds like you are just not wanting sex and you do it anyways. Meaning, you are not in the mood at the time. Does this cause you some pain. That could be why its getting more difficult. I hope you can take your husband to the therapist as well, he needs some counseling on this

I'm sorry you're going through this, that sounds awful. Even I don't want sex every day anymore. I agree with therapy really a marriage counselor or sex therapist. You need to be valued by your husband and him pressuring you every day is something that should be addressed. There needs to be an understanding, he does need to listen when you say no, and be more respectful of your needs.