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_Hope_
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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 03:00 PM
  #1
Is there a point where porn becomes an addiction?
How can I tell if my husband is addicted to porn


(edited to add trigger icon)

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InACorner
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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 03:08 PM
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i found out my boyfriend (now ex) was addicted to porn....depends really on how you feel about it...i couldnt handle it...i forgave him and told him not to look at it again...if your ok with it sometimes a guy looks at it once a month.....my boyfirned looked at it everynight and looked at over 5 different sites a night....even had signed up for some stuff....i tried to meet him half way and say he cant watch the hard stuff but if he wanted to watch a romantic movie with alittle more than kissing we can watch it together sometimes when we are intimate...he lied to me and said he stopped but he didnt...i would confront him about it and see how he takes it.....he may be uncomfortable about it since alot of people are embarressed about it...if you already know and he is upfront and looks at it like once a month then only if you are comfortable...remember it depends on how you feel and then communicate with him about why he does it.....i hope i helped you alittle bit...any more questions i am here for you if you need someone.
love, inny

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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 03:27 PM
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I couldn't tell you how you know if someone is addicted to porn...all I know is I don't like my hubby using it, it was at the stage where our sex life was non existant because he was watching all sorts on line, I found out one day when he was accusing me of all sorts. I think it distracts men from reality, wanting to look at these beautiful women with perfect bodies, younger girls (not children) and too far into a fantasy world to appreciate real flesh and intimacy.....this is my problem, but it made ME feel insecure, unattractive and put me off having sex with him. The thing is, he knew I hated it and every time I threw magazines away he would find some other way of looking at it.
Sorry, I've rambled a bit, I just have a huge problem with porn.

Jinny xx
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_Hope_
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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 03:55 PM
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i know that throughout our marriage there have been times he has checked out porn. sometimes it was more excessive than others. but just recently our sex life has become practically non existant, he and i talked about it and said he likes it because it is easier than coming to me. he agreed to not go to any porn sites when i told him how i felt, so now i find out instead of going to porn sites he does seemingly innocent serches on the computer. He was serching using different disney characters names like ariel or belle even phocohontas but what comes up on the serch engines is pretty graphic and not from disney.

I feel like he has found himself a loop hole in his promise , he is not actually going to porn sites but he is still looking at the pics on the search page

Linda

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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 04:00 PM
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that is actually quite disturbing ...looking at disney characters?? I would definitly say if he has tried to loophole you instead of respecting your wishes he definitly has a problem.....((((Bpd)))) perhaps suggest a marriage counciler at this point...especially since he said its easier than coming to you...i would find offense if i were you in that statement.

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Default Nov 15, 2007 at 04:36 PM
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Default Nov 16, 2007 at 01:57 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bpdsufferer said:
How can I tell if my husband is addicted to porn

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

When he spends more time looking and pleasuring him self to the image of them than with YOU.
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Default Nov 16, 2007 at 02:25 AM
  #8
WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?

Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings to cope with their emotional pain to the point that their sexual behavior becomes the major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves.

The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior.

WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME SEXUALLY ADDICTED?

Generally speaking there are three reasons: biological, psychological, and spiritual reasons.

The biological addict is someone who has conditioned their body and mind to receive endorphins and enkephlines (brain chemicals) through reinforcing a sexual fantasy state with the use of an orgasm with sexually images or thoughts.... their DRUG of choice.

Psychologically a person finds the need to medicate with sex (drug of choice) to escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

Spiritually a person may use their sexual addiction to fill the hole in them (the emotional void) that only God can fill in another. The addiction is their spiritual force - it now comforts them, celebrates them and is always available to them.

Some people can suffer from all three reasons for sexual addiction.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX ADDICTION AND A HIGH SEX DRIVE?

A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex - sex is not being used to fix some thing else... and when their partner happens to say "NO" to sex it doesn't make the other partner go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them or leave them feeling as though they need to act out in some other way - usually sexual and with porn.
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Default Nov 16, 2007 at 08:37 AM
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As a guy who watches wayyyy to much pornography, I have a few things that might help you on this.

Some times guys also do this as a way to make them selves feel better or because they are so accustomed to it. Perhaps as far back as high school your husband used porn and at a time it became addictive but i have felt my interests and stuff change based on porn and it freaks me out to the point where i dont even know what I like anymore. I cant tell if im straight or not, i cant tell which women i like, and women who i used to like for some reaosn i dont like anymore which is awkard.

This is something you need to talk about right now.
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Default Nov 16, 2007 at 04:19 PM
  #10
When he does nothing but watches porn in his free time and it's even worse when he watches it when he's supposed to be doing something else.
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