My One Night Stand

Despite all the consideration and advising against the entire thing, I went through with it. It went the way I wanted and I was satisfied. Very satisfied.

At first it was strange the next day, he wouldn't even look at me. But the days after it was back to normal. My friend does know and says the sex they've been having since, is the best they've ever had.

My husband and I have yet to have sex because of how busy we've been, but when we do...I'm ready to please him.

So far all is okay, no regret, no lying, no sneaking...nothing. Just some sex between friends. We were comfortable.

Some may disgusted by my behavior...but what I recommend is to not knock it unless you try it.

Wow when I saw the subject I actually whispered out loud ''oh, she did it!"

I've not been in your shoes so I'm in no place to say anything, since I have no personal experience. I'm actually glad you're posting about it. Anyway I'm glad you're not having any negative fall out and I hope that continues!

While I can't begin to understand your friend, it sounds like its working out for them lol. I've heard about this kind of thing before, how the occasional one night stand actually helps people's sex lives with each other. I suppose thats why "swingers" evolved.

does your husband know?

Oh no...he doesn't know. I figured what he don't know won't hurt him and he'll experience the upside to the situation not knowing why. It doesn't matter though...I've been happier and pleasant all week...he's pleased.

I would seriously consider marriage counseling. I just read another thread of your children acting out. all this combined really needs working on.

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bebop said:
I would seriously consider marriage counseling. I just read another thread of your children acting out. all this combined really needs working on.

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I completely agree...one night stands aren't....trusting...espcially if you're married.........

My children's behavior is entirely seperate from my sex life. As for my husband, I really don't care anymore...he's horrible to me.

I read the other thread, and you mentioned that your husband is abusive..so my question:

how is this one night stand going to solve the fact that your husband still uses you as a punching bag?

You need to get a real plan of action--all the time you spent wasting on whether or not you should sleep with your friend's spouse could have been directed towards something more beneficial--like getting away from your husband and providing a better life for you and your children.

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My children's behavior is entirely seperate from my sex life. As for my husband, I really don't care anymore...he's horrible to me.

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No, sweetie it's not separate. And you are using the fact that your husband is so terrible to sit back and do nothing. So far, you seem rather selfish. All you care about is your own sexual pleasure and that's it. The sex was good but how is that helping your kids...??

You really need to get your priorities straight.

what I said was everything combined! I really didn't think your kids had a thing to do with your sex life. your family is getting screwed up because you are not happy with your husband. if you care nothing for him anymore it is time to end the marriage. my thoughts right now are for the kids. that they are seeing abuse in the home. I really feel for them.

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youOme said:
So far all is okay, no regret, no lying, no sneaking...nothing. Just some sex between friends. We were comfortable.

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If this was just SEX between friends and nothing else?
Does your husband know about it?

If not, why not?

And - how will you feel is your husband does the same thing with a female friend?

NOT Judging........ just Curious.

Hi youOme,

I really believe that women (and maybe men) cheat on their spouses because they are not fulfulled in some area of their marriage.

I am very surprised that your friend knows and accepts the act for what it was. I am very happy for you and she that all worked out for the best.

I do believe that if you no longer have feelings for your husband as he is horrible to you, you owe it to yourself and children to break ties with him. You know, you do deserve better treatment.

I am not passing judgement on you for cheating on your husband. To me, it just shows that he lacking interest or ignoring a needed area of your marriage.

If you do not wish to leave your husband, I think that the only choice is to find a good marriage counselor and seek help. If he refusses to go, then maybe that is indicative that he has lost interest, too. I would be temped to tell him that both of you see a marriage councelor or go your separate ways as you are no longer going to accept his treatment of you. If you do not care to take the time or make effort to see a marriage counselor, then you have answered the question of whether or not to stay with him.

As a side note, if my husband treated me horribly, I just don't think that I would sacrifice myself to have sex with him. No Way, No How. To do so would make me feel like I was sacrifcing myself just to please him when he is only interested in me when he wants sex. This is just me.

I hope that you feel that I am not passing any type of judgement against you. After all, what may be beneficial to you may not be so for me.

Take Care,
Peacemaker

I understand the disagreement, I really considered all sides before making this decision. Yes, we've been suffering here at home and this possibly contributed to my curiosity. If he knew he'd be hurt and possibly flip out. I figure what he don't know won't hurt him...I trust the event is kept between my friends.

About my children. Most of our issues is kept between him and myself, but occasionally it slips out the bedroom door and they do see us arguing. They've never seen more though. I imagine they can sense the tension and lack of love though, children can't be tricked fully.

I'm not sure how I would feel if he did this to me. I'd be confused for sure, but I think a deep deep down part of me would be relieved. He went to a party recently with some people from work and in the back of my mind I hoped he'd get laid. It's strange I know...

I've never actually been as laid back about sex as I am now. I always thought two people should love one another before they have intercourse. It's a new attitude on sex and probably temporary. If he seriously went and had a one night stand...no love, no relationship...just pure sex with a friend....it'd be fair wouldn't it. As long as I didn't know about it I suppose.

Ya'll probably think I am whacked for thinking this the way I am.

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As a side note, if my husband treated me horribly, I just don't think that I would sacrifice myself to have sex with him. No Way, No How. To do so would make me feel like I was sacrificing myself just to please him when he is only interested in me when he wants sex. This is just me.


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Exactly...this is what it has become. Before I didn't care enough about myself to realize it was me sacrificing myself. Now that I have changed and grown I'm beginning to care about my fair end as well.

I talked to a neighbor I had never spoken too before last night. She's a bit older and somewhere in our conversation said "if you're married and have problems then attempt to solve them, if he doesn't pull his end of resolution..then get out, it's not worth it." She was high off pills and sounded like a nut job, but she had a really good point. It felt like she hit home.

to be honest with you now you sound like you are feeling a tad bit sorry you did it. the guilty feelings will creep in.

let me explain myself on all my thoughts I have posted to you. please know that I do know where you are coming from. been there done that thing.
anyway one husband I had was a sex freak. he wanted it all the time and with whomever. He wanted me to go out with other men, have sex with them, come home and tell him about it. did it hurt? you bet it did. I felt like I wasn't good enough to please him. I did end up going out a couple of times with others and like you I was very young. did it mess me up later? you bet it did. I did overcome that for the most part. I know he had other women too and it hurt so much I didn't think I could stand it. I have been on both sides of this fence.
yes children know things are not right in the home. my parents use to argue all the time and I did with my ex. I exposed my children to those things and they suffered for it. I had to work 2 jobs to support me and my kids. it is just not worth stayng where you are beaten and abused. the kids would be much happier too. thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I'm a child of a loveless marriage. My parents stayed together and my mom was extremely unhappy. She died in that unhappy marriage. For years I thought it was my fault. It wasn't until I was 26 or 27 that I finally started working through all that. But deep down I still feel responsible sometimes. If I hadn't come along, my mom wouldn't have stayed with my dad.

They weren't physically abusive. And I'm still scarred. I very rarely saw arguing, and I'm still scarred. The kids will remember it.

Quite honestly, there was a man in the neighborhood who through a paper route and so did we. We'd see him when we picked up the papers. He would flirt with my mom and she would be so happy. I always wished she'd leave my dad for him.

If she had had a one night stand with him and I'd found out, I would have been happy for her. But I'd still feel responsible for her staying in the marriage.

Just some food for though.

All i have to say is "what about the Kids!" They are first priority. I know what happens to kids when parents are pleasing themselves with "infedelity".

You as a parent should be a Positive Role model. Trust me this will back fire down the road! And you will be sorry!

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youOme said:
So far all is okay, no regret, no lying, no sneaking...nothing.

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Yet, your husband and your best friend don't know.

I think that you need to learn how to step into someone else's shoes-- you just slept with your best friend's husband. How do you think that would make her feel? I honestly feel sad for her because unknown to her, two people that she trusted just went behind her back.

I understand that you are hurting... but don't make other people hurt, too.

You say your husband is horrible, but then in your post you stated that when you decide to have sex with him, you are ready to please him.

Confused, I guess....

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I think that you need to learn how to step into someone else's shoes-- you just slept with your best friend's husband. How do you think that would make her feel? I honestly feel sad for her because unknown to her, two people that she trusted just went behind her back.

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I think she said her friend was aware of the situation, and ok with it.

IMO, this is a SUPPORT forum. Here so that you can offer support to other members, not so you can judge and determine if their behaviors are acceptable according to your values. If you feel compelled to lecture her, and make judgements, then why post? She's not here to be on trial. Just skip the thread and find one that you feel comfortable supporting. Just my two cents.

My best friend knew and allowed it....they're into that sort of stuff. She's been having great sex since.