I need a cure.

I hate being gay. It's not for me. I need a cure. I don't fit in with the people. I don't want to sleep around. I sit home alone because it is not for me. I need a cure. I am in bad shape.

Well... to my knowledge... there is no cure. But I wish you success in making peace with who you are...

People have treated me terribly my entire life. I cannot take it anymore. I don't like the lifestyle and I don't enjoy the sex. Being gay is a terrible life.

You can be you without needing to live your life according to the norms or expectations of a particular social group or lifestyle. Being gay does not mean that you need to behave a certain way or go along with anything that is uncomfortable for you. Be yourself and be with people who love you just as you are.

I don't fit in anywhere either, but honestly I'm not bothered by it anymore, as long as there are a few people who accept me as is.

It's a terrible life. I want no part of it. I hate being alive and am angry and bitter all the time. AIDS killed most of my friends. T's tell me to sleep around and I tell them F.U. The lesbians are unfriendly and awful. Even the gay 12-step group CoDA kicked me out when I refused to sleep with one of its sociopath, controlling members. There is no comfort from religion and I don't dare go to the LGBTQ center - which my generation built - because the people are so hostile to older men. This entire society is the worst. There is no middle ground. There is no place to go and I don't want to be here anymore.

Why do you need to be gay if you do not want it. Is it your choice to be gay?

Hello Lifelong Loner,

I am so sorry for your anguish. I can tell that you are in a lot of pain.

I wonder if you have heard of Tim Gunn at all? He is a 65 year old gay man and opted not to have sex for decades because he remains fearful about the risk of AIDS. He is a very successful person in his chosen field: fashion. I admire him. He is articulate, very intelligent, and kind. There is something deeply dignified and sophisticated about him.

I mention him because perhaps you would enjoy reading about him? He is living proof that a gay man in his 60s can lead a happy and successful life without engaging in sexual relationships. I define successful based on the individual....whatever is important to them.

With regard to "this entire society is the worst" are you referring to Society at large or how Society treats gay folks? With regard to Society at large, if you look back at the thread you created here and the responses you received, you will see that some people are caring and kind. That's got to count for something, right?

I care. I am sorry you are so unhappy. I am sorry for the loss of your friends to AIDS. That must have been deeply disturbing and frightening for you. I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future. I would wish that for you whether you are older, younger, gay, or straight. That is what you deserve as an intrinsically valuable human being.

Of course it is NOT a choice. But, I don't like it at all. I am someone who always wanted to fit in. Being different does not suit me at all. It seems that I only find rejection from all sides. I don't know what to do about it. I can't wait for my life to be over.

I am familiar with Tim Gunn. At one point, he did have a lover in his life. It did not end well - he was tossed out. Nevertheless, he found his calling both with his first career in education and his second on TV. He has been very successful.

I, on the other hand, have only met with adversity and lost. I have a life that I do not want. I have a hard time making friends. I am not handsome and have physical and health problems. Even therapists do not want to work with me and, honestly, I have lost complete confidence in them as some have been abusivee and said things like "how are you still alive?". I have encountered a lot of meanness everywhere. The result is that I have C-PTSD, am a loner and have a serious heart condition. Being gay made my life more difficult than I can deal with. My parents were very homophobic - there was never a time in my life where I met with acceptance. In the gay community, if you are not sexual then you are not welcomed. My life has been a disaster. I continue to face abuse on the job and in other places. Praying for a cure seems to be the only thing that gets me through the day. But, there is no cure. I have a life that I don't want.

I am sorry that you have a life you do not want. I used to feel that way, for different reasons about my own life. It is such a shame that your parents are homophobic. It is very hard for me to understand any parent rejecting their child based on sexual orientation. Aside from how hurtful that is, it is also downright bizarre when you really get down to the idea of it. Your sexual orientation does not define you. I am sorry that you didn't have unconditional love from your parents. I didn't have that either. It's very confusing and painful but I make it a point not to think of it too much. Beyond my control.

I do believe that we can change our lives. Slowly over time. That's what I've done and I am still working on it. I believe my work on myself will continue until my last day on earth.

You say you have never been met with acceptance in your life. Well, Lifelong Loner, you have my acceptance right here on PC in this moment. I accept you as you are and wish you peace. Here's a safe

For years I tried and did not succeed. Hopefully, heart disease will take me sooner than later. I am tired.

I don’t look at being gay as having a disease so I guess I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of a cure.

I don't see it as a disease either. Is being straight a disease? It's just who you're attracted to. I'm bisexual, and I don't see it as a disease that needs a cure. It's just a part of who I am.

But I'm sorry you're struggling with this and that you feel people don't accept you.

Honestly, I haven't felt very accepted by the LGBTQ community either. A lot of people don't seem to understand what it means to be bisexual. A lot of straight men thinks it means I'm a nymphomaniac and want to have threesomes. And I think I would be more comfortable with a woman, but women don't want to date me for some reason (maybe because I'm also attracted to men?)

It has been a terrible life with near non-stop abuse from both gay and straight people. And, the sex is not so great either with lots of shallow people who do not want relationships and who judge you on your looks. It has been a disaster of a life. I am tired.