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#1
May 25, 2019, 06:26 PM
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Hi all,
I joined PsychCentral so I can get clarity on my sexuality. It's been the biggest issue in my life: am I straight, bi or gay? I was sexualized early by my older sister. Then when I was in college, I regularly met up a guy 10 yrs older than me, to receive oral sex. I dated mostly women, and got married when I was 36. My wife knew I was bi, and I had a part time bf for a few yrs when I was married. I got divorced after 5 yrs, moved to San Francisco, & came out as gay! But after 5 yrs, I realized I still liked women, and preferred a heterosexual social circle. I've done therapy with about 6 different therapists, always on the issue of my sexuality. I expressed my gay side through monthly anonymous hookups, and phone sex. A yr ago, I started attending Sex Addicts Anonymous. I've been abstinent from sex with men for 6 months. I no longer visit online hookup sites. My intuition is that it's best for me to focus on women, because women are more relationship oriented, which is what I want. I also like the yin/yang aspect of being with a woman, as opposed to the yang/yang of being with another guy. I've found it difficult or impossible to find a quality guy for a part time relationship, which I was searching for. Yet I still get turned on by guys on the street or in the locker room.... tho w another guy, it never seems to go anywhere other than heated sex. Men seem to be conditioned to not open their hearts to other guys. This is me... I welcome any feedback! |
 Anonymous44076
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 Skeezyks
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#2
May 26, 2019, 01:17 PM
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Hello This. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.
 One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships forum. Here's a link:https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/ I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer with regard to your experiences.  I'm an old man now.  And sexuality, in general, is something that went by the wayside for me many years ago. The one thing I know, since I've waged a life-long struggle with gender dysphoria, is that anything related to sexual orientation (or gender identity) can be endlessly confusing.  Hopefully coming here to PC will be of help in coming to terms with your struggle.  I hope you find PC to be of benefit. 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#3
Jun 05, 2019, 12:18 AM
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I find it hard to believe that in the vicinity of San Francisco you cannot find a quality guy for a part-time relationship.
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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