Feeling dirty

Misery Business · Jul 11, 2019 at 07:26 AM

Because of the amount of sexual abuse I went through over the 15 month ordeal I was in and the emotional abuse of being called so many degrading names I feel completely dirty and never feel that I will be loved by a guy. I know deep down that all of those sexual acts that I had to go through were forced onto me and not my choice, but it still happened. Will there ever be a guy that can look beyond all that or am I going to be alone or going to end up with guys that just abuse me for the rest of my life? I am 16 years old and my friends and peers are mostly all dating and some in relationships, but not me because I fear this so much that I am going to be hurt again.

Pygmalion · Jul 11, 2019 at 03:53 PM

I'm so sorry you had that trauma. I hope you're getting whatever help you need.

Pygmalion · Jul 11, 2019 at 04:50 PM

Quote:

Will there ever be a guy that can look beyond all that or am I going to be alone

I'm totally not the right person to try and offer insight into human relationships, but it strikes me that given the vast majority of people end up in some kind of relationship for at least some time, and given your young age, it seems to me that the statistics are in your favour at least. I would be cautiously optimistic of experiencing love at some point.

SadCarmen · Jul 11, 2019 at 09:46 PM

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I would strongly encourage seeing a therapist if you are not already doing so - they can help you work through these feelings of fear. You will not be alone forever, there are beautiful, understanding people out there who will honour your feelings and take their time with you. Plus you're only 16! You have so much time to grow, heal, learn and meet lots of wonderful people. You are not and will not be alone. xx

Misery Business · Jul 12, 2019 at 10:01 AM

Thanks so much everyone. I do hope I can find a loving guy who understands my past and can love me even though I have major difficulties. I just feel like it is going to have to be some really special boy.

Pygmalion · Jul 12, 2019 at 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misery Business

Thanks so much everyone. I do hope I can find a loving guy who understands my past and can love me even though I have major difficulties. I just feel like it is going to have to be some really special boy.

I sincerely hope your dreams and desires are fulfilled and you find what you need. I am optimistic that you will. Stay strong and good luck.

Skeezyks · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:54 PM

I'm so sorry you had to endure such horrendous abuse.

Below are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that I thought might be apropos here. The first article talks about the author's journey to self-love following sexual abuse. And the second article lists 22 ways to love yourself more.

I think there is every reason to believe you will be able to find that special guy who will love & accept you. But right now what may be most important is to find a pathway to loving yourself so that you have the inner strength to steer clear of the wrong guy(s) & to be ready when the right guy comes along.

My Journey to Loving Myself Following Sexual Abuse

22 Ways to Love Yourself More | Happily Imperfect

Misery Business · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I'm so sorry you had to endure such horrendous abuse.

Below are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that I thought might be apropos here. The first article talks about the author's journey to self-love following sexual abuse. And the second article lists 22 ways to love yourself more.

I think there is every reason to believe you will be able to find that special guy who will love & accept you. But right now what may be most important is to find a pathway to loving yourself so that you have the inner strength to steer clear of the wrong guy(s) & to be ready when the right guy comes along.

My Journey to Loving Myself Following Sexual Abuse

22 Ways to Love Yourself More | Happily Imperfect

Thanks so much. I will certainly read them tomorrow. I would get into them tonight, but Mom wants me to get off my laptop now because I have been on it too long today.

Taylor27 · Jul 13, 2019 at 11:13 AM

So sorry to hear what you have had to go through. I never dated til i got into my late twenties. I hope you can trust a therapist to help you through what you have experience. I am a survivor of sexual abuse childhood and raped. It's very tough to feel good sometimes, just remember you are a very strong beautiful person. Hugs

Misery Business · Jul 13, 2019 at 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheryl27

So sorry to hear what you have had to go through. I never dated til i got into my late twenties. I hope you can trust a therapist to help you through what you have experience. I am a survivor of sexual abuse childhood and raped. It's very tough to feel good sometimes, just remember you are a very strong beautiful person. Hugs

Thank You so much. I have a wonderful therapist who I have been with since the beginning when I came home from the terrible event that occurred in my life. She has helped my leaps and bounds in the short time I have been with her. This upcoming school year my 11th Grade year I am going to try and venture out with a few special friends of mine and try some new things that go on at school. This includes me trying out for the girls soccer team in the Fall and also going to the school dances which could even include going with a boy if someone is crazy enough to ask me. I also plan on trying to attend some of the sporting events and the musical the school theater group puts on in the Spring. So I do have big plans for this upcoming school year and I will see how it goes.

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Pygmalion Member Member Since Jul 2019 Location: UK Posts: 125 5 35 hugs given	Jul 11, 2019 at 03:53 PM #2 I'm so sorry you had that trauma. I hope you're getting whatever help you need. __________________ male hetero (GNC/CD phases) inorganic psychesexual (objectum spectrum)
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Misery Business Grand Member Member Since Jun 2019 Location: USA Posts: 750 5 240 hugs given	Jul 12, 2019 at 10:01 AM #5 Thanks so much everyone. I do hope I can find a loving guy who understands my past and can love me even though I have major difficulties. I just feel like it is going to have to be some really special boy.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,442 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.4k hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 11:13 AM #9 So sorry to hear what you have had to go through. I never dated til i got into my late twenties. I hope you can trust a therapist to help you through what you have experience. I am a survivor of sexual abuse childhood and raped. It's very tough to feel good sometimes, just remember you are a very strong beautiful person. Hugs
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