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New Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 4
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Aug 27, 2019 at 07:04 PM
#1
Can oral sex become a fetish or perhaps an obsession? I'll explain. I'm 41 years old and married. My wife and I haven't had sex in over 5 years. I feel ashamed and perhaps uncomfortable for craving this sexual act. For some reason or another, I find oral sex (women going down on men) fascinating. My experiences have been clearly... less satisfying. No, I am not bi-sexual nor am I gay. I can not understand this desire and for some reason, I've been ashamed to feel this way. I am seeking sexual counseling, but she's not... well, let's just say that she has no idea why I'm the way I am. I'm not allowed to discuss oral sex with my wife, I'm not allowed to ask for it (mainly because I don't know how to ask) I'm beginning to think that oral sex is only made for dirty movies. But for much of my life, I have anguished over my body's inability to respond to oral sex because I feel that it makes me a freak, and my inability to enjoy it (when I was much younger and dating). So why does my body not respond to oral sex?
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Account Suspended
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Oregon
Posts: 5
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Aug 28, 2019 at 05:59 PM
#2
It sounds like oral sex causes you to much shame or doubt or whatever, and that all of these mixed signals are taking up too much "bandwidth" in your mind, for you to fully enjoy it. There were times in my life that I was ashamed of wanting oral sex and couldn't ask for it. Flash forward and I now realize that while some women are uncomfortable with giving head, many others really really like too. Like as much as we like giving head to them. I personally believe that our entire bodies, and not just our genitals, are and should be part of our sexual experience. There are even some FEMALE sex coaches that recommend that women swallow their partners cum every day because it is beneficial to them. I believe that oral sex is healthy, loving, innocent, and natural, and should be enjoyed by all. I think that YOU are perfectly natural and healthy in you desire, and that the only problems are your beliefs about oral sex. Good luck friend
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 4
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Aug 29, 2019 at 04:09 PM
#3
Perhaps, but the truth is, I've never enjoyed it. Because I just can't. Nothing nobody has done past or present. I just can't enjoy it. When it had happened in the past, all I've ever done was stair. Not a good feeling. It's rude in my book. I've watched enough dirty movies to know a guy isn't supposed to stare. He's supposed to I dunno... make some kind of noise or whatever. I just can't. No explanations. Just can't. I don't care about going down on a woman, mainly because it doesn't do anything for me. I never get erect. Has nothing to do with my wife. I'm just a lousy lover (my only assumption). I try to follow the steps in the dirty movies, but it's just not that simple (least for me). I don't know how long I'm supposed to be there in between her legs. I don't know how long I'm supposed to perform on her. I know the outcome. No pun intended. Just not any good at it.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,525
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Aug 30, 2019 at 02:20 PM
#4
Quote:
 Many people think sex (and having an orgasm somehow and sometimes oral sex it the only way to get there) is sort of a requirement (look where it falls below   ) or they get grumpy: I think it is safe to say that my husband and I consider it like a duty to try to satisfy each other (how often varies/ebbs and flows for me/he is always ready  but we would be divorced for sure if we had not for 5 years....)Relax (however you have to until you can get comfortable whether with drugs, etc though I don't need drugs for sex--SSRIs actually make it more challenging sometimes for me now but it just means more work for him for a change  ) and practice, practice, practice--the same goes for your wife. I would be obssessed too if I hadn't had sex in 5 years.
Last edited by TunedOut; Aug 30, 2019 at 03:58 PM.. |
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 4
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Aug 30, 2019 at 04:05 PM
#5
I've seen my share of dirty movies. No denying it. I watch those women who seem to love to go down on a guy. I haven't experienced it like those in the film. And I want to have it. However, my marriage is a sacred one (I have strict marital respect and code). If she is not willing to talk about it, then who am I to pressure her? So, it goes to my original question - is oral an obsession? I know that no woman is going to walk by me, and say "hi good looking, can I s*** your c****." That only happens in dirty movies. I just wished I wasn't so sinfully ugly, that I turned her on that she would like to do that. But unfortunately, you can't fix ugly. I've been deeply depressed over this. Stupid isn't it? That a guy who's in his forty's just wanted a b******. And can't get one. Even if a woman did it out of pity, I would have to turn her down, because of my faith to my wedded vows. I know I sound like a weirdo or a first-rate nut. I assure you, all. I speak the truth, I see no reason to make this stuff up.
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 TunedOut
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