Changing Sexuality

Hey everyone,

For last two and half years or so I have been struggling incredibly.
At 11, I was bi. At 13, gay. Until 23, gay. At 23 I first started experimenting with guys and now I'm almost 26. But that's 10 year strictly gay and another 2 and half experimenting with guys largely in the closet (ironically). So, 12 and a half years identifying as a lesbian to everyone I know. Gay pride parades, LGBTQIA+ activisim, leading LGBTQIA+ support groups, telling family and friends, talking to therapists, wearing lesbian/gay pride shirts. Lesbian af. I have not been in the closest with being a lesbian since I was 13. BUT now...well, now I am in a confused closet. Or perhaps it's a bi closet. And I'm transported back to the ages of between 11 and 13 where I went from bi to lesbian. Ugh those two years sucked. Wondering if I liked girls and how people would react. I didn't have the "straight girl" teenage years, so I naturally didn't pay an extreme amount of attention to straight sex issues. Of course, I get condoms, birth control, iud, etc. BUT I have rarely used any of it because I spent the first 23 years of my life without having sex with guys.

Well, NOW, now I'm like "uhm...maybe I need birth control. Do I buy condoms or does the guy buy condoms? Should I get an IUD? Do plan B pills work well? I don't want to get pregnant. I'm scared. I just want to stay lesbian."

Please tell me somebody here has had a similar experience. I feel so alone in this. It's one thing to go from straight to bi or gay. It's a whole other thing to go from being lesbian to bi. How can I handle this? And how are others going to handle it if I really feel this is who I am now? I think I'm just as shocked as they would be.

- Get an IUD. There are now small IUDs for nulliparous women - I think Skyla is the name of one of these brands. Get that. That plus a condom ==> better insurance against unwanted pregnancy than sterilization.
- Get condoms. If the guy buys them, great. If he does not, you will be prepared.
- Plan B pills work, but IUD is better and condoms are needed for STI risk reduction - Plan B does not protect against STI's.
- Try not to identify as a group member. Think of "my desires are changing - I used to like A and now I like B, or, and I still like A, but also like B". Identify as yourself. Think if what fascinates you as a unique being and not as a member of a group.
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