I came out to my wife

Stuck1nhead · Nov 19, 2019 at 11:45 AM

So I've been hiding my true sexual nature for years now. Since before me and my wife even met. So about a week ago I came out as a Pansexual to her. Honestly I was surprised by how she reacted. She said " It's fine, because you're married to me". Which is true because I am married to her and would never be unfaithful.

Now that being said I can easily fantasize/dream about dating another man, woman, or transgender. Too me gender isn't a problem with me. I see the person not their gender. I could easily see myself developing a relationship with anyone and possibly falling in love.

Only problem is i'm married. I do love my wife, I really do. but tings have gotten rather crazy. She wants to move out of town, find new jobs, and start trying for a baby. So maybe all this stress is causing me to fantasize about being with another person. On top of all that she has become even more depressed these past few months. So now all I feel like I do is comfort and try to make her life better. But in doing this I somehow feel worse. I'm just so confused.

krashmajors · Nov 19, 2019 at 12:17 PM

Congratulations for being honest with your wife. I know how difficult it can be to embrace your true sexual identity. I am bisexual and only told my wife about 3 years ago about my sexuality. She has been loving and supportive of who I am. That being said, it's been a difficult journey since I am married.

I am in the same boat as you because I can't be unfaithful to my wife. I love her more than anything but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with wanting to be with a man. I had been with men before my marriage so I do miss the physical intimacy of sex with another man. As much as I love my wife, there is one thing she doesn't have that turns me on

You may be going through a stressful time but the most important thing is that you be honest and communicate with your wife about your feelings and desires. Bottling up your emotions and fantasies will only lead to trouble. I know it's a confusing time, believe me I do, but open communication is the best thing for both you and your wife.

Stuck1nhead · Nov 19, 2019 at 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krashmajors

Congratulations for being honest with your wife. I know how difficult it can be to embrace your true sexual identity. I am bisexual and only told my wife about 3 years ago about my sexuality. She has been loving and supportive of who I am. That being said, it's been a difficult journey since I am married.

I am in the same boat as you because I can't be unfaithful to my wife. I love her more than anything but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with wanting to be with a man. I had been with men before my marriage so I do miss the physical intimacy of sex with another man. As much as I love my wife, there is one thing she doesn't have that turns me on

You may be going through a stressful time but the most important thing is that you be honest and communicate with your wife about your feelings and desires. Bottling up your emotions and fantasies will only lead to trouble. I know it's a confusing time, believe me I do, but open communication is the best thing for both you and your wife.

Thanks for your response. The part where we differ is I've never been with someone of the same gender or that is trans gender. I just though it was a kink of mine. Then i realized after hanging out with a few coworkers that are bi and gay that i became infatuated with them. So im in a straight relationship, desperately wanting to experiment, but want to remain faithful to my wife

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