Concerned about sexual orientation and weird fantasies

I can imagine it is the same story written by other dude, so apologize for that.

I'm 27. In the primary school i was worried that secretly i am gay. I believe that's because one of my collegues suggested that.

Since middle school, every crush i had was a girl.

Until recently.

I think i was never attracted to guys physically. I wouldn't even know what guys do i like. However i was able to form powerfull bond with a male friend over chat messages. It's weird. I feel... very attracted to those messages. I mean he was always supportive to me and gave me tons of compliments, so one day i had this dirty thought that since he is taking care of all my needs then he could also keep me satisfied sexually. He agreed and what i did was basically masturbating to him writing on chat how cool and cute i am.


All of this left me doubting my orientation. I mean... i've always considered myself straight but the possibility of having him fulfilling all my needs sounds tempting.

And at the same time i've developed minor crush for female collegue in work. I mean, i think she sometimes looks like an angel, i like her scent, her voice, would like to touch her and take her to park, however i almost never have erection when thinking about her.

My therapist says that most possibly im straight with homosexual experience. She tries to comfort me saying, that many guys do have those. I'm worried that i will rapidly develop some other sexuality unknown to myself for my whole life. I am currently in phase where i test my crotch response to pictures of women, men, straight pornography, gay pornography.


I just can't live with this uncertainty.