I dont want to be gay

If there is one thing i want desperately to get rid of, it is being gay. I dont want to accept it, i do want to change it, because it is simply wrong. Now many secular paychologists say you cant cure it. But why was it then a disorder not long ago? But i tried to pray it away too. I tried to pray everyday that God will cast the demons out, and make this spiritual sickness go away. But it simply doesnt. Maybe im not worthy, not holy enough? Maybe im still too sinful for that? Should i try to pray even harder? Maybe a conversion therapy could get rid of it? Because its making me suicidal. Is there a reason god wont make it go away? Its a spiritual sickness after all, god does not approve of it. But honestly i want to go even farther. I want all sinful sexual desires to go away. Do i need a specific prayer for that? Or why doesnt it work? I just want to be normal, and have later a normal family with kids, just as god commands me to do. But why does god hate me?

After reading your thread, I found out big pain, and feeling of guilt, you see yourself as a sinner, not holy, not worthy...
All that pain inside you because of something you have no hand in it, believe me bro,
Being a gay isn't a spiritual sickness as you see it, being a gay it is a sexual orientation,
Before I explain to you more,
I want you to know that homosexuality has two different significations according to religion and according to SCIENCE,
The question of what causes some people to be gay has been a topic of endless debate among the general public and the mental health community. the religious community of every persuasion views homosexuality as a sin against God and nature. Deeply religious groups among Muslims, Christians, Catholics and Jews reject homosexuality as totally unacceptable in the eyes of God!! They are condemning the homosexual to eternal hell.
The Science represented by APA (American psychologist association) they dropped the homosexuality from mental sickness 50 years ago!

Homosexuality has biological and genetic causes,
Some researches thinks that it is caused by inheritance of chromoscope Y FROM the father, some researches thinks that it is caused by inheritance of chromosome X from the mother,
The most recent research claims that the mother who gives birth to many male babies the last fetus could inherit some hormones from the mother that may effect on the brain of the fetus in a way making him gay.

So get rid of your burden on your shoulder and live your life happily, the god himself created you this way,
Even the church represented by the vatican has changed its option about homosexuality, the church is influenced by the modern thinking,
It sees that the homosexual is not that sinner with horrible and disgusting acts! He has tendency and disposition to perform such acts,

I'm not here to critic your religion, I'm sure you are grown up in a particular religious environment ( family, school...) I'm here to tell you relax and have faith in Science,
How many times you heard that Scientific research said :" religion said this, religion said that, according to religion..." No, Never ever.
But the religion in order to to reinforce its opinion and strengthen its position among the several societies in the community and among the general public, it says :" science said this...scientists has recently discovered...."

Dear Phoenix,

I would guess that the above reply doesn't speak to and your situation. As a fellow gay Christian, I would advise you to trust in God and know that your sexual orientation isn't a sin in itself, nor a defect or a stain. It is true that Christ advised us that sexual activity only has a place within marriage, but he never said that people who do not marry are lesser than those who do -quite the opposite in fact. He even acknowledged that people may be unwilling or unable to marry for many different reasons, and that he never derided anybody for this. There are as many roads to holiness as there are people on Earth.

Please check out the "Spiritual Friendship" blog and the Life in Side B podcast; I think you'll find them helpful!

Take care and know that Christ loves you more than you can possibly imagine.