[Zedsdead]

Hello all. I'm waiting on therapy appointments to start (6 weeks), but of course, life doesnt wait for appointments.
After 10 years of an abusive relationship, I left with my children and started over. Every aspect of my life is pretty great except my ability to form new relationships. Friendly or romantic!! Iv become quite avoidant and as I'm aware of this, I am seeking a psychologist as it has been 2 years or more since I left.
My sex life has definitely been rocky. I have gone on a few dates and had 2 sexual encounters since the abuse.
I have noticed a trend! I have felt open and comfortable with men looking for only sex.. even though that isnt what I truly want. When I have come across a potential partner, I get scared and usually call things off immediately.

Now, I have been spending time with what I thought was a just a fellow single parent. He is older than I am, kind and patient. After 2 months or so it turned to him making an advance to our coffee turning to a dinner and drinks date. The feelings are mutual. He is a good father, he has always been kind to me and carries so much compassion for others.. something i haven't ever had experience with in a man.
Things are great, there has been no pressure but I can feel the sexual tension between us now. He is making slight hints of this here and there.. and at first it felt exciting. The more it approaches, the more i now feel worried.

I'm really want to have a sexual relationship with this man, the kindness he has shown me makes me swoon!! Yet I'm fearful that all men want is sex and I just cant bear the thought of another man using my body and disposing of me heartlessly.

It's odd that I didnt mind having sex with the man that i knew didnt want anything more.. I logically know this doesnt make sense. It doesnt erase the feelings..

Can somebody here please inform me of if men are capable of more than just sexual needs? I know I need to experience this to understand fully.. but it's so difficult to do that when every man I have ever let into my life has shown me otherwise.

I am ready to take the plunge with this man.. by plunge I mean risk my emotions to get involved with somebody.. the avoidant style isnt serving my needs any longer..

Thank you.

[ARaven0137]

Hugs to you! My humble opinion is that he's waited two months. It sounds like you've built up a trusting friendship without sex being in the equation. To me, it sounds like a good bet. My hopes are with you.

[SMRY]

Originally Posted by ARaven0137

Hugs to you! My humble opinion is that he's waited two months. It sounds like you've built up a trusting friendship without sex being in the equation. To me, it sounds like a good bet. My hopes are with you.

Agree!

When I was 22 I had sex with a young man (25) after dating for just 2 weeks....we have now been married for 35 years....