Waiting on Std test results

They said they'd call today. Hope I'm fine but doctor said even if negative recheck in 3 months. I prayed to God to quit having sex with guys because I need to be stronger, I have a yeast infection. He's helped me, got tips from my arms worker. I'm also praying I'm clean.

Every guy says I'm beautiful, I think it's cause I look like my picture. One guy said better than my picture, he looked better too going on 3rd date with him. Two guys looked older and not as good, it's creepy.

Hope they call when I'm home alone. Not by mom or something.

Got my results all negative, recheck in 3 months.

Now I'm scared, I have the flu. I wish I could trust the negative results of my std test, but the doctor said there's a gestation period for some std's. That's why the recheck in 3 months. Now I'm worried I contracted something. I told the guy I'm dating about my concern, he thinks I'm worried needlessly but I've been looking up HIV warning signs and flu came up. I'm going to have to put it out of my mind for the next few months. But honestly I'm scared. I put a reminder on my phone.

Today I'm told to stay home for 2 days. I'm out of maxi pads, my period is unending, I feel find but have to skip my group and everything so I don't get others sick. My mom did have diaherra a 4 days ago. About the time I was experiencing symptoms of the flu. So I could have caught it from her, but I've been a mess since I had unprotected sex, I didn't want to have with a guy I didn't even like. I offered him condoms he refused, he didn't listen to my no. I'm really scared, found out in the mix of things he hates American's, which I am one. So he could have purposefully infected me with something. Needless to say I'm scared and it will be May before I can be calm again if I ever am calm again.

Saw my first HIV drug commercial. I'll seriously kill myself if i have it. That's a problem i can't live with. Still dealing with a pelvic rash, that's taking forever heal.