I met someone recently, and I can't make sense of him

I have no reason to make anything up about this guy.

I considered that he may have completely made up this pornographer he spoke of. For what reason, I can't imagine. So much about this guy makes little sense.


Either he made all this up, or he knew far more about this pornographer and his dealings than he was letting on.


In any case, the story he gave me was pretty stupid. This guy must be extremely naive himself to believe anyone would buy that, or he thinks that I'm a complete idiot.

I was also considering that the entire reason he pursued me was to recruit me for this underground pornographer.

Jeff is the name of the gentlemen I've been speaking of. He was rattled by the fact that I called him 'Jeffrey'.


He assumed that I would have had to have done a background search on him to guessed that he might be known as Jeffrey (Jeff being short for Jeffrey). What was he afraid I had found out?


As far as having had other young men around to have sex with, I wouldn't be surprised.


This guy claimed he hadn't had sex in 5 years. I found it very hard to believe someone as hyper sexual as him would let himself go that long without sex. This guy has an encyclopedic knowledge of everything having to do with sex. He spoke like an anatomist.


He certainly didn't act like someone who'd been without sex for that long either, and had some kid he was supposedly extremely horny for coming to his house that first night with him. He was completely non-nonchalant about it all, and even rude.

________________________________________


My employers were not aware of the fact that I am considered to be disabled. I wasn't employed by them through the agency.


They must be aware now that I am, but they weren't at the time they hired me.


I was pressured to ask for a medical leave by the two agents I'm working with. They insisted that I must take a leave to focus all of my attention on this lousy program.


On the morning the rep was to speak to management, I asked her to instead request a leave of absence--not demand one, or resign on my behalf if they refused. I said if the management weren't keen on the idea to allow me to continue to work.


She again reiterated that all my time and attention must be devoted to my health...


I was initially told by her that they would allow me to reapply for a position when I was available again, but that it wasn't guaranteed that I would be rehired. I might not even be interviewed for the same position.



I called the manger and explained that I didn't want to resign, and that I would like to continue to work. She said she would speak to the produce manger about it (I was a produce cleark).


Two hours later, I got the call from the store director that they decided to completely axe me.

I'm sorry to hear about your job. I think it's probably a good idea that you're not working in the same area as this guy, anyway. So maybe it was a good thing it didn't work out?

I'd bet my money on it. There was always a hint of something in the gut.. gotta listen to your instincts.

The Jeff/Jeffrey sounds off, too.

I HOPE you've concluded now and will not be bothered with him again. Chalk it up as a story you lived through and survived from.. and hopefully learned from, too. No more Craigslist!

Are you going to take that course you're expected to take? Do you even have a choice?

I would never go running back to him now that I've said goodbye. I was sort of looking for an excuse to get rid of the guy. He handed me a pretty good one. I wasn't right for him if he genuinely wanted a lover, and I certainly didn't want to fall for a predator.

I am expected to take the course, but it turns I do have a choice. However, my therapist and my psychiatrist might drop me for being non compliant if I didn't go.

I thought I had no choice in the matter at all. It's an 'outpatient' program. You are essentially going to one therapy group after another for 3-6 hours, the same as if you were in hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. I thought whether I was there or not would be entirely in the hands of the organization, the same as if I had been hospitalized inpatient.

Well, it sounds like you really value your therapist and if he strongly feels this will be helpful for you, embrace it with an open mind. Whatever is going on in your life is not working out. I'm not sure what that is, as you haven't disclosed that piece, but I do believe things happen for a reason. Such an irritating "cliche", I know.

Stay strong and keep your focus. I'm glad this guy is out of your head now.

I did something reckless, and this program is essentially a penalty. It's more or less a kind of school that teaches dialectical behavioral therapy through playing kindergarten children's games.


I will never forget that guy, and I'm comfortable with that. He is a mystery. I think that is partly what attracted me to him.

Interesting! My partner is working through the DBT workbook. Do you mind explaining what the theory is behind the "children's games"? Or maybe provide a link?

As for this guy, ya, it definitely got my attention.. although your story originally creeped me out which is why I wanted to say my 2cents worth about it LOL

I think they believe that teaching DBT techniques through silly games makes the experience of being in this kind of program less intimidating or 'boring'. I would rather be bored than be made to play these stupid games.


An example of one game we played involved getting into groups, and stacking Styrofoam cups into pyramids by grabbing onto them using rubber bands.

I can't explain it properly, but it was all 'metaphorical' for something or other.



It's the Linden Oaks program. They are located in both Naperville and Mokena Illinois. I can't find any websites that describe the program in any detail.


Thank you for all your input as far this Jeffrey gentleman. I will probably never know what to make of him, and what he really wanted and why. I am currently of the opinion that he made the pornographer up. Again, I can't come up with a satisfactory idea of why. It's the kind of thing a compulsive liar would come up with for no apparent reason.

Ah, ok. Sounds like team building or something. Thanks, anyway.

And you're welcome. It was interesting talking with you about all this. I don't doubt pornography was in his plan all along.. but at this point, it doesn't really matter.

Keep safe and stay out of trouble!

...He says he's worried about me.

He managed to message me somehow last night though the 'Messages' application on my Mac. I thought if someone was blocked on your iPhone, they were blocked on messages as well.


A chill ran down my spine when I read it, and I made sure all my doors were locked.

Unfortunately not. I think it depends on the service provider. I once had a provider that allowed me to block a caller but not their text messages. My current plan allows me to do both. By default, you can block someone but still send outgoing texts to them.

I can understand why he's "worried" about you. One, you recently lost that job, and two, he presented you with an unfavorable idea and is now concerned over your silence?

Did you respond back? I wouldn't if you're really wanting to cut him out. It's possible he's after you over his own sexual and financial gains.. and perhaps he's wanting to sexually "train" you for the "job".. pure speculation, of course.

I did respond.

I elaborated on what I wrote in the email. I said I don' think he's a 'bad' guy. Although it is possible that he is, I said I think it is more likely that he is simply misguided.

And I do think there could be some truth to that.

I said I didn't trust myself to not throw caution to the wind, and get myself involved with something dangerous.

I told him I didn't buy the story he gave me of how he has come to know this millionaire pornographer.

I told him that the fact that he became alarmed when he thought I had done a background check on him was a red flag.

This guy obviously can't take a hint. I had to essentially tell him that while I'm not entirely sure he is a 'predator', that I no longer trust him.

I did not admit to knowing anything about his criminal record, which as far as I know only amounts to that Halloween incident.

I even denied knowing his last name, or what his specific address is (I do in fact know both).


Thankfully, I was also able to block him on the Messages application.

...This guy can't stay away from me.

He's texted me from a different phone number, wondering why I've 'broken up' with him for such 'no GOOD reason'.


He says he had no reason to fabricate the story he did about the pornographer, while avoiding my concerns about why he is so skittish about my 'checking up' on him.


He says we are 'emotionally, psychologically & physically' ideal for one another...

That's his opinion.. and that's fine. Tell him you disagree and that he makes you uncomfortable.

How are you doing these days?