[samgrn]

Hi! My partner and I have been together for almost five years. He is my first relationship and the first person I have had sex with. Even from the start, I feel like I never really wanted to have sex. Before I had sex, it felt like this huge thing and I was very nervous and scared to lose my virginity. Since I started having sex, it either feels like a chore or gives me some anxiety. Personally, I am very active masturbating and thinking about sex, but for some reason I never want to have sex with him or imagine him in my fantasies (not that I imagine anyone else, I usually just imagine people in general, not a specific person). Is it possible this is because he is just my first sexual experience and I have anxiety about it and have some body issues? Or is there the possibility that my lack of physical/sexual attraction for him is causing this problem in our relationship. Even while having sex, it feels good, but I just cant really understand why people are obsessed with it. He is good at sex in general, but only a handful of times have I ever actually wanted it to really last and not just wanted to kind of get it over with. Afterward, I am never regretful or sad or feel gross about what I've done, I usually feel happy and great. We even have the same interest in what we like in our sex lives, I just don't seem to be able to transfer that interest from in my head to actually doing it with him. Outside of the sex, our relationship is perfect and we are amazing at communication(even great with communication about sex things). I’m very confused. Please help!

[Skeezyks]

Hello samgrn: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I don't think your concern is one I can address. Hopefully there will yet be other PC members who will have some insights they can share. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, samgrn, and welcome to Psych Central! My question is: Are you physically attracted to other men? I think we all have a range/type of person who "turns our crank." He might be more of a friend.. How about looking around to see, since he's your first and only?