Stuck between a rock and a hard place

Im a straight male thats very much attracted to transgender women... I dont know what to do about this being I have a family..

Hello HpHp: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I suppose the obvious answer to your concern is to find a mental health therapist you can work with on this. But, of course, that may or may not be something you want to pursue. You mentioned you're a "straight" male who's attracted to transgender women which, it occurs to me, sort-of implies that being attracted to trans women contains within it the possibility of an element of latent gayness. I think you would find that the vast majority of trans women consider themselves to be women. And so for a straight male to find them attractive would be no different than for a straight male to find a cis-gendered (assigned female at birth- AFAB) woman attractive... which is a roundabout way, I guess, of bringing me to my point.

You mentioned you have a family. So I presume you're married to a woman & perhaps have children? From my perspective, being attracted to trans women while being married is no different than being attracted to other (cis-gendered) women. And I doubt there is a straight male on the face of the earth, married or otherwise, who does not find himself attracted to members of the opposite sex unless he is asexual. (It's in the genes.) So, while you didn't write this in your post, I'm going to leap to the conclusion that at least a part of your concern is you feel being attracted to trans women suggests you may have some latent gay predilections you were unaware of. And this is why finding yourself to be attracted to trans women is of concern to you. (Perhaps I'm off base here. But, then, you didn't provide a lot of detail with which to work.) There's more I could write with regard to the question of "straightness" versus "gayness" as well. But that's really a whole nother discussion.

From my perspective, I think the question regarding what to do about being attracted to trans women is the same question as what to do about being attracted to any other member of the opposite sex. And the answer, it seems to me, is that you simply recognize being attracted to members of the opposite sex is simply nature's way of ensuring the preservation of the species... no big deal as long as your attraction remains simply a "mental appreciation", so to speak.

Of course, if you find yourself feeling tempted to stray from your marriage that's another kettle of fish entirely. And in that case, perhaps the real question here is what is it that's going on with you personally, & with your marriage, that is causing you to consider the possibility of having an affair. However, at least based on the little bit you wrote, I'm presuming concern over the possibility of marital infidelity is not what has prompted you to write the post you did.

Perhaps the best thing you could do, here on PC, is to elaborate a bit more with regard to your attraction to trans women, the circumstances under which this concern comes up (for example: is this something that is being fueled by viewing some sort of porn), & the concern you have over it. But, in the meantime, one practical way of approaching something such as this is simply to realize that thoughts are just thoughts nothing more. And how I handle intrusive thoughts is to employ a Buddhist technique which is referred to as "compassionate abiding". When an intrusive thought comes up, I simply allow it to arise & fade at its own pace. I breathe into it. I may even smile to it & allow it be to be there in my thoughts for whatever period of time it remains until some other thought or activity comes along to take it's place (which, at least in my case, usually isn't long since my thoughts are always jumping from one thing to another.) Here's a mental-health-oriented description of the practice of compassionate abiding:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

What do you mean by saying you have a family?

Your post is a little vague, are you worried that your family would not be accepting if you were to enter into a relationship with a trans-woman? Or are you currently married and struggling with feeling attracted to someone outside of your current relationship?