Husband Can Only Keep An Erection If...

...if we talk extremely dirty and it's about other men,him having sex with them. He talks about all the sexual things he wants to do to them or them do to him. He wants me to tell him what I would like to see him do or done to him.

I'm not sure if this means he's gay or not tbh. Whenever I try to talk about it with him he gets extremely angry and refuses to discuss it.

If there's no talk about other men he can't keep an erection,even when I perform oral on him. He seems bored,not interested, there's no connection between us, it's robotic like. There's no touch from him,no kisses,just nothing at all. He goes through the motions but is never able to keep it going.

I have used other dirty talk and role playing and fantasies but it doesn't seem to help or work. When it's about other men though,omg he's so into it that he can hardly contain himself. He connects,he touches me,kisses me, he's actually very good at pleasing me.

I'm not ok or comfortable with this anymore. It started out years ago with fantasy talk,like me with 2 men while he watches but has progressed into me rarely being in the talk at all, it's about him and these other men.

I feel like he's not interested in me at all. I feel like he doesn't like sex with me at all. I feel like he's just using my body now while he's fantasizing.

Last week I tried 3 different times to keep him aroused,one of those times included oral. All 3 times he went limp.So I tried the way he likes(with the talk about men) and he couldn't get enough. He kept wanting more and we had sex for about 4 days in a row,sometimes twice per day. As long as he talked about men and I did too he was able to keep an erection.

I was testing this out to make sure Im right about what Im saying. And I'm definitely right.

So now what?

Hhmm does he check men out when you guys are out? I am not sure what to make out of all this. Was he always this way?

No,he wasn't always this way. It all seemed to start probably within the past 8 to 10 years and has progressed into what it is now.

I do notice obviously gay men always check him out and sometimes I do see him looking at them too. If I ask why he's looking he will say "I thought I knew him"

It doesnt matter if you are talking about men to help him along or if its about other women or just straight up dirty talk. If you dont like it do not do it. Maybe try couples counseling because this sounds like it could be a bigger issue.

This has been going on for 10 years????? It wouldn’t work for me. We can only speculate why he prefers men. I don’t know if he is gay or just curious but all I know it wouldn’t work for me. How is it working for you two? Doesn’t sound like it does either

How is your marriage otherwise?