going on 27, and still a virgin

for most of my life I have had a very low self-confidence and I still do...and I have had zero experience in sexual matters. I feel so pathetic...I'll be turning 27 in two months and I really feel like no woman could ever want me or understand me...I do meet girls and they like me...but they never seem to be interested in me....I feel like such a loser....I don't know what to do anymore.

Welcome...... and please know that I am sorry for the inner pain you are carrying around within you.

I was 26 before i had intercourse aside from a horrible abortive attempt at 24 which was a total disaster(It was with an older woman(8 years) who was experienced but sexually selfish and was not a believer in foreplay. Basically it was we have had a minute of that whereby she turned round and opened a bedside cupboard choc a bloc with condoms and unceremoniously thrust one in my hand. I panicked and wilted to which she merely turned her back on me and proceeded to go to sleep).

Like you i never thought i would meet that special someone but i was wrong. Kismet or fate(call it what you will) engineered for me to meet my soul mate in hospital.
She was 22 years older than me and from a different background but i connected with her like i have not done with any person before or since.
We were together for 22 years and married for nearly 19 before she died.

Do not give up hope of meeting that special someone who will truly love you and be understanding about your lack of experience.

It happens on both sides and sounds like it feels similar. I was still a virgin at 27. It's a learning experience not a character flaw. Like teejai says, I believe there is a woman out there for you; I didn't find my man until I was 34-35 and now we've been married 18 years.

Me, too, I was a virgin at 27...I just wanted it be right, ya know? It seemed so out of reach though for so long!! People would talk about sex, and I would laugh and play along but wouldn't be able to relate....I think this whole post shows there were many people who waited. I haven't met my certain someone yet, either.

I was a virgin at 27 too, and for a few year after. I wanted to wait for the right one. I'm glad I waited because she's my wife and I love her to bits. But I'm with you on feeling inadaquate and lacking self-confidence--I'm always dealing with those issues but I've gotten better with therapy.

It's sort of like a bad cycle. You lack confidence, so you project to people that you're insecure. No one is attracted to you because of your insecurity, so you lose even more confidence in yourself. You have to break the cycle. What do you like to do or what do you do really well? Is there a club or a social group, college, church you could join? Build your self-esteem--that is going to come from within--you can't rely on a woman to do that for you. It doesn't work that way.

Remember, that when it comes to sexual behavior, a lot of guys ******** a lot. These days, no one admits to being a virgin over 20--so people lie about it and make %#@&#! up. You don't have to believe everyone. And look at it this way--you don't have to worry about STD's or AIDS and you don't have any unwanted kids out there with the added financial stress.

societal pressures make you feel like your a loser when your different then their "norm". Normally people lose their virginity's late teens, early 20's...whatever...according to the media, entertainment, and society. The truth is there is no norm on this issue your facing so don't feel your a loser. If you've waited this long then continue waiting till you find the one you love. It'll be worth the wait when it happens. Don't be so hard on yourself.