FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Location: VIC, Australia
Posts: 11
16 |
#1
OK so I feel a bit strange writing this, but here go's...
In the bed room I feel like I almost have multiple personality's. Sometimes I love to be man handled, talking dirty and rough to the point I like being softly strangled. But then other times I am disgusted by my own behavior, and shy to even be seen naked. And then there are times when I just want it to be soft and passionate. This can change daily from one extreme to the other. With my first boy friend I could ask for anything and not be shy, with my last boy friend I could only tell him what to do if I was feeling domineering and rough. With new partners I feel like I'm in my shell and just let them take over. I don't know how to feel about all this. I'm scared of what people will think of me. I don't see myself as a slut but sometimes I just want to have sex for hours and hours, and fantasize about women, threesomes, my mind just goes wild. But then other times I'm just so tame. I don't want to scare men off, and I'm afraid I will when they see the real me. It would have to be hard not knowing what to expect. I'm also afraid if I do just let go I'll do something I may regret and beat myself up over later. I'm sorry this probably doesn't make sense, I'm just so confused. Does anyone else feel like this, or am I as strange as I suspect? |
Reply With Quote |
Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
18 1 hugs
given |
#2
Hello & Welcome.......
I personally do not view what you are talking about strange or weird, but rather that of a person that likes sex in many different way - kind of fantasy in living color. Please do not be so hard on your self........ Sex is Good. P.S. May I ask? Was there any sexual abuse in your past (as a child) - if Yes, you may also be acting out as a need to try and understand / deal with the WHY's you still have inside. |
Reply With Quote |
Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Location: VIC, Australia
Posts: 11
16 |
#3
Thanx,
I feel a but better now. As far as abuse, not as a child. I have been as a young teen though. I'll write more today, just dont have much time right now. |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Some place beyond myself, West Virginia
Posts: 999
17 |
#4
Elle...it seems your a highly sexual and passionate lover that likes to switch experiences up. I wouldn't consider this bad or dirty personally. Shoo...maybe if people did this more often their sex lives would be more interesting. The only thing I notice is what you may do with one person your afraid to mention with another. I think in all circumstances a woman should tell a man what she wants, how she wants it, and when. Men can't do all the guess work on their own...there's only so much they can figure out. Especially if you like it switched up occasionally.
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Posts: 768
16 |
#5
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
youOme said: Men can't do all the guess work on their own...there's only so much they can figure out. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> dang I thought that all you needed to know was #1 When & how to time the ocassion, & how to initiate it . obiviously this can be different times and ways, even with the same woman #2 How to multitask on a couple things, while rocking the little man in the boat done |
Reply With Quote |
Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,464
17 2 hugs
given |
#6
Some studies I've read suggest that the longer people are together the more truly satisfying they find their sex lives. The reason? Because they have had time to open up to their partners, get to know each other's desires, and are able to meet each other's needs. Not to mention the fact that, after long enough, you know each other's bodies like your own.
You sound like you have a variety of sexual interests and if you become comfortable with them, you'll have a wonderful sex life. Variety is so important no matter who you are and you sound ready to really explore that. Good for you. Cyran0 __________________ My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
Reply With Quote |
Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: NYC
Posts: 16
17 |
#7
I have something similar in that I can be hypersexual which unfortunately
is followed by a period of self consciousness. As a guy this can be explained easily enough. My body needs time to recover after a lot of activity. However, you seem not to be comfortable with your situation. I had my hormones checked recently and specifically my adrenals. I'm not talking about testosterone and the usual suspects. I'm talking about epinephrine, cortisol, seritonin. They were all very low. I was trying to jump start my system using sex when all I succeeded in doing was making things worse. Caffeine, alcohol do the same. One pumps you up the other makes you happy but, in the end, is a depressant. Even in moderate amounts one feeds off the other. Hyper sex leads to shyness and back again. You can say...well there's nothing strange about it and that would be true. You can say "well thats the way I am" and go with it. You can also ask is this what I want? |
Reply With Quote |
Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Southwest of Northeast
Posts: 33,346
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,304 hugs
given |
#8
I don't chime in often on this forum, but this post interested me.
In my mind....having fantasies about sex and how someone wants it and in what way, is a very normal way to think and feel. But I think it's important to hone in on what makes you feel comfortable as opposed to acting on the fantasies. I have specific fantasies at times, but for myself, I know I would not feel comfortable in acting on them. They are just that, fantasies....nothing more, nothing less. It's like a kind of story going on in my mind and I can play it out safely there without being judged by my partner or myself for that matter, and without being hurt in the process. This in no way means that I never act on any fantasies, only the ones I feel comfortable with and know my partner is comfortable with too. sabby |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,529
18 |
#9
<font color="purple">I do have different personalities and it can reek havoc on my sex life... Sometimes I have to allow one of the others thru in order to get thru it... other times it is one of the others and they suffer silently... sometimes I have high desires to try new things which my husband doesnt and I do fantasize a lot... and many times i feel disgusted with myself for thinking or wanting to try something or even after doing something... like oh this isnt "right" or normal... or am I perv? Course it doesnt help that when I share some things with my husband about my thoughts and fantasies he tells me i am sick... such as wanting to try a threesome (me, hubby, and another female)... I think for me the experimenting is finding an emotional connection with sex and my partner as well as plain old having fun and spicing things up... IDK...
I dont think you are strange at all... I think it is normal to want to try new things, but much of the time we dont act on it b/c of fear due to much of how society views certain sexual acts... </font> __________________ Melinda Today, NOW! Is the time to tell that someone you love them..... because tomorrow just might be too late! |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,840
16 |
#10
I dont beleive that sounds strange at all. Especially if youve had past partners, maybe one that only liked passionate, one that liked it rough, etc. One day I might like it totally wild and crazy, than the next passionate only. It is not strange at all.
__________________ Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Is this normal sexual behavior? | Women-Focused Support | |||
Is this DID behavior? | Dissociative Disorders | |||
Childs strange behavior | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
Possible dangerous behavior? | Personality Place | |||
How do you talk about SI behavior? | Self Injury |