Debating a homo relationship for the first time

I'm a 35yo female and have only been with males. I'm currently in a 9yr relationship with a male but things aren't going well. I went out with 2 friends, 1 bi male and 1 bi (but mostly homo) female recently. We all did some molly and things got super cuddley and feely, but kept it super innocent. It felt so good tho, to be laying with both of them. The next day I could not stop thinking about them and wondering what would happen if I wanted to take it further with the female. I've felt some strange sexual energy between us since we first met a few years ago but never really thought about about what a relationship would be like with her until now, and in so much detail. I do find her very attractive and she is an amazing human in general. I haven't been happy in my current relationship for years and wonder how much of this is coming I to play now. One of my biggest faults is that I'm too nice of a person and am finding it EXTREMELY difficult to end it with my current partner bc he has struggles I sympathize with, and we've been through alot! Should I just take the plunge and see what happens or are there other factors I should take into consideration??

I'm undoubtedly not the best PC member to be replying to your post. But I noticed you had yet to receive a reply. So I thought I would write one. (Hopefully other PC members will yet have insights they can offer.)

From my perspective I think the wise course of action here would be to resolve the 9 year relationship you have with your male friend before you initiate a sexual liaison with your female friend. Not doing so, to my way of thinking, just complicates everything & has the potential to create all sorts of hard feelings & confusion.

Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, that discusses the differences in how men and women view infidelity:

Women and Men React Differently to Infidelity

Of course, I don't know what type of relationship you have with the male you've been with for 9 years. If your relationship is such that you can simply tell him what you plan to do, & he'll be accepting of that, perhaps you could handle it that way. But I think initiating a sexual liaison with your female friend secretly, while you're still with your male friend of 9 years, is a recipe for trouble.

This stood out to me the most because you're contradicting yourself, here.

If you know your partner has had years worth of struggles in which you sympathize with, then having an affair on him on TOP of it all, is not a "nice" thing to do to him. Neither is staying in a relationship with someone you don't want to be with, simply because "you're" struggling to end it.

I'm not getting the impression that you care about him so much that you can't fathom breaking his heart with a separation if you're not at all concerned about how this affair will affect him.

I'd question why you're still hanging on. What are you really afraid of?