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Old 11-14-2021, 07:21 AM   #1
loren1975
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Member Since: Nov 2021
Location: Illiniois
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Default Confussed? Lonely and Desperate? Or Bi-Sexual?

The title of this post are the questions I ask myself all the time.

I don't know what happened to me to make me so insecure and to hate my body so much. Maybe that does not even matter now. The effect this attitude toward myself has been a life of loneliness and isolation.

In the past 10 years or so I have been questioning my sexuality. If you would of asked me about my sexual preference when I was in my late 30's and younger I would of said heterosexual, no doubt. Now I am just not sure.

Because of my issues I have had very little experience with women. Honestly I have never even had an actual girlfriend. I go long periods in which I don't even think about being with anyone. Then I have brief periods of time when I start thinking about it again. This is when my confusion about my sexually comes up.
Do to my isolation and self esteem I start looking on the internet for some kind of connection. Well I can tell you in general its not a very good place to look!

I end up replying to men's ads for men, or couple's ads for bi-sexual guys. I do have sexual thoughts and fantasies about guys but I cant help but wonder if these thoughts are brought on more by me being just starved for physical contact.

When a real person does contact me we usually just tell one another about our fantasies, but when it comes to actually meeting them I chicken out.
Some times I will get pictures sent to me and it will be of a older hairy guy and that just kills any sexual thoughts I had toward them. Now if its a couple or male to female transsexual or even a more feminine looking guy the desire is still there.

I just wondered if anyone else has had these same thoughts? I just don't know if I should be pursuing some guy if I am not ever going to actually meet them.

I wonder if I am contacting men just because I know it is way more likely that a real person will reply back? The women on most of these sites are either fakes or are looking for the white knight.

I just don't know! Hence confusion
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