[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm wondering what people think. If something sexually arouses you, but you don't want it or it's impossible to even engage in it, does that make you that label...?

Example:
If you're a woman and are aroused by lesbian sex thoughts, does that make you a lesbian? What if you have no desire for lesbian sex?

The flip side is what if you're a woman aroused by gay sex thoughts? You can't be a gay man...

What about paraphilias?

[divine1966]

People can be aroused by all kind of random things so I do not believe it means one thing or the other. I don’t think arousal from watching or thinking of gay sex make one gay.

It might be too early in the morning but what do you mean by paraphilia? There are many kinds I think.

Are you talking about desiring sex without other party’s consent or some other practices falling into a criminal categories? Or something less drastic?

Sadly from what I’ve read those who desire intimacy with certain categories (I don’t want to verbatim type it in here it might be triggering to people) eventually act or attempt to act on it. It’s rarely staying just in a fantasy.

I once watched a documentary on the topic and there was a man serving years for one widely known paraphilia. He was giving advice to people, if they have these urges seek immediate help. But people are too embarrassed to seek help or they think “oh these are just thoughts”.

Then at some point in their life they act on their thoughts and feelings and by then it’s too late to seek help, they committed s crime and harm or potentially harm other humans or creatures.

I think this topic is extremely complicated and complex to have a clear cut answer .

[Mountaindewed]

I've been kinda confused about my sexuality for awhile. But I think I'm bordering on pansexual with no desire to have sex with anyone but I am also mainly turned on by objects. Its a bit complicated.

[88Butterfly88]

I think it really depends how people choose to identify.

[RoxanneToto]

Sexuality is complex, simply put! Sometimes a concept can be shocking, initially, but over time the thoughts surrounding it (in one person’s head, I mean, though there certainly can be wider societal shifts) can make it feel more acceptable? As divine1966 says, “just thoughts” can and do lead to actions, especially if people don’t have good boundaries.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

I think it really depends how people choose to identify.

Well it’s more than just how people identify themselves. Some people partaking in some harmful activities don’t identify themselves as such and insist it’s all good and dandy and they did nothing wrong, in fact some argue that whatever they did is a wonderful thing. So I’d not go by what people identify themselves when it comes to some paraphilias.

If you are talking about sexual orientation, then I agree, it’s up to the people

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Well it’s more than just how people identify themselves. Some people partaking in some harmful activities don’t identify themselves as such and insist it’s all good and dandy and they did nothing wrong, in fact some argue that whatever they did is a wonderful thing. So I’d not go by what people identify themselves when it comes to some paraphilias.

If you are talking about sexual orientation, then I agree, it’s up to the people

I meant sexual orientation. Sorry that wasn’t clear. Yeah, for certain paraphilias it seems a lot of people have a distorted view.

[susannahsays]

I usually feel skeptical of people saying they are hetero if they feel aroused by same sex thoughts. Seems more likely to me that they are just repressing that part of their sexuality. Internalized homophobia is hardly rare.