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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2007
Location: Florida so glad to be out of Massachusetts!
Posts: 1,664
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Feb 08, 2008 at 09:56 PM
#41
(((esthervirtue)))
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
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Feb 10, 2008 at 02:16 AM
#42
Just curious still, where do you draw the line in the sand? You can sleep with one person a month? A quarter? A year? A decade?
Once again, I fall back on my standard rule of thumb: what happens between two consenting adults is their business. Just because a word happens to be found in the dictionary doesn't mean that it isn't meant to be demeaning and hurtful. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it really does. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
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Feb 11, 2008 at 08:21 PM
#43
what does it really matter? you remember roosevelt's saying? "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission." if you accept that word and let it hurt you, then thats letting you hurt yourself. however, if you hear someone say that and think "i choose to do this with my own body and that doesnt make me anything but aware." then youre choosing to not allow other people to hurt you. you can sleep with whomever you want, as long as youre safe! being safe and doing it for yourself, not for anyone else, is what matters. not how many.
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
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Feb 12, 2008 at 12:56 AM
#44
salukigirl,
Roosevelt was right, but it's so frustrating. The young women in this country have such low self esteem to begin with and we have to compound this problem by throwing insults at them. Think about this, how often is this word used correctly (to identify a woman that trades sex for money) and how often is it used as an insult. It's a double edged sword, by having it bother me so much I give the word its power. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
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Feb 13, 2008 at 12:05 PM
#45
so dont give it that power. just don't. if you want to be something, be it. you can be whoever you want. and if you tell yourself that it hurts you, its going to. but if you dont let it hurt you, it wont. its suprising how easily it comes after you force yourself that time or two, it becomes second nature.
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Guest
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Feb 13, 2008 at 02:42 PM
#46
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
salukigirl said: what does it really matter? you remember roosevelt's saying? "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission." if you accept that word and let it hurt you, then thats letting you hurt yourself. however, if you hear someone say that and think "i choose to do this with my own body and that doesnt make me anything but aware." then youre choosing to not allow other people to hurt you. you can sleep with whomever you want, as long as youre safe! being safe and doing it for yourself, not for anyone else, is what matters. not how many. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I've always understood the spirit of that quote, but think its not that true. I think if you love someone you care what they think and their words do hurt. The "permission" you give them is the vulnerability that comes with love. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
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Feb 13, 2008 at 09:31 PM
#47
esthersvirtue - thats a pretty profound statement. i guess then that the only way to ever not be hurt, is to never let anyone in. its on an individual basis whether we decide whether its more important to feel love, or to keep yourself safe from hurtful words. and if you feel that its more important to be loved, then we need to take careful consideration as to who we allow in. so it all goes back to being on a one-by-one standard. no one can tell you what a ***** is.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
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Mar 25, 2008 at 02:00 PM
#48
 
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