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Newly Joined
Member Since May 2024
Location: Southern tier of NY
Posts: 1
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#1
Hey everyone. I am 47 and my long term GF is 46. We’ve known each other since Junior High School… started dating in 2019 after both of us being in long term relationships. We reconnected on a Fetish website. Both had very strong sexual appetites. As of late, hers has fizzled to almost nothing… she can’t explain it…. Says she loves me more than anything and still finds me very physically attractive…. Yet she has no interest in sex or anything relating to it. I shouldn’t say “No” interest…. But it’s very minimal. I however still have the libido and desire of an 18yr old boy. She sends me nudes all the time still… she thought maybe early menopause or depression…. I have come to her with my “complaints”…. I’ve tried every angle to broach the subject. She just gets angry or seems very nonchalant about the whole thing. I haven’t had a blowjob in months…. Like 6 months or longer and sex if I’m lucky once a month. She never or rarely initiates it either… it’s left me feeling very unwanted…. Undesired…. I have actually thought about cheating…. Not because i want to be with anyone else in a relationship… I love her more than anything but I’m losing my mind. I know there are no real answers here and this was more to vent. But it’s starting to have a negative impact on me mentally and emotionally.
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,794
(SuperPoster!)
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#2
Listen to Dr Marty Klein's videos. "sexual intelligence". I have only listened to a few so cannot speak to the breadth of his coverage, but as he says again and again that desire disparity is one of the top issues by frequency in sex therapy, and, as your particular problem is so common, I am sure he's addressed it compassionate and you will find, if not readymade solutions than at least solace in knowing you are not alone and you are heard by a supreme expert in the field.
__________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity BMI ~ 38 |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2024
Location: In the southern United States
Posts: 346
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#3
Oh my word, I was put on Lexapro, or escitalopram on the first day it was available for RX in the States in 2002, that stuff is like a second generation antidepressant and it will annihilate that aspect of your life, if you are a male. I can remember seeing my treating psychiatrist at the time, throwing that stuff in the garbage can and telling them stopping that in your life sure as heck was not a way to battle depression. It was however a sure fire way to cause it. He thought that was funny and it made me even madder. Look I am an MD and there is a condition called HSDD, (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder) that affects around 10-12% of females, and there are medications for it. Look I was practicing rural doctor and I have had husbands and boyfriends tell me they were going to destroy the whole state, to please do something. If this was a sudden change chances are there is a reason and it would be a medical one. How about take her out to a nice dinner with a complementary follow up to your medical professional. That sort of thing is extremely frustrating sorry it is happening.
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