Asexual?

I am just wondering if anyone else can offer support or relate to me. I have zero interest in sex and do not feel attracted to anyone. I feel very alone with this, as most people I am around are extremely interested in sex (hormonal teenagers).

I have nobody to really talk to about this. I feel very alienated and weird.

Any advice?

Well how old are you? At one point I had no interest in sex, but it was just because i was afraid. Thats all over now...

Your not weird you are among many people who have the same problem as you ! I went through a period of being the same ! For some reason it just went away ......

Hi girl bass...

I think this is a far more common concern than generally realized...

Interests of all kinds, sex included, rise and fall like the tide,,with some storms mixed in...

Sometimes it takes just turning a corner and the right set of eyes and pheremones and bingo,,,a new concern to be delt with..

There is an interesting freedom associated with a low interst in sex..it seems to put other aspects of peopleon center stage which may or may not be fair but at least different...

Lenny

I'm 26 and I've been wondering if I am asexual as well. I joined an asexual dating site and met some people there. I learned a lot about asexuality on AVEN. Just google AVEN.

It was very refreshing to meet guys on a dating site who were not interested in sex at all. We are only 1% of the population, but if we work together to educate others we may have as much visibility as the gay community.

This is a valid sexual orientation and I'm proud to be asexual. GO ASEXUAL PRIDE!

I'm with Lenny. Interests and drives rise and fall with time and circumstances. Are you on any medication? Psychotropic drugs have a huge effect on sex drive. Are you a teenager? Do you feel you have to be like a stereotypical hormonal teenager? The trouble with defining yourself as 'asexual' or 'gay' or 'purple' is that lables can be so limiting and constrictin, especially at a young age. You don't have to be anything. Focus on being a good friend. If the right friend turns into something more, see where that goes.

I'm almost 19 and yes, I'm on a lot of medication. Even when I haven't been I was not interested in it and only partook in it to please other people.

It could be a phase, and that's a bit reassuring. I'm just self-conscious about it and it's embarrassing for me to discuss with my psychologist.

Hi Girlbass many times in my life I have had no Interest either.
Mainly because the major depression or anxieties over shadowed my
interest. So that was the farthest thing from my mind.

Like scottkeys88 mentioned just try to find a good friend or friends who are platonic and take it from there....

Many different meds can cause sexual side effects like loss of desire. There are also medical conditions that can cause such things. It can be embarrassing to bring up a sexual problem with your doctor, but it shouldn't be. Sex is a normal part of life and many at some point in life deal with a sexual problem of some sort. Unfortunately many are too embarrassed to talk about it so they just deal with it when it could be something easily treatable. If not your psychologist, perhaps talk to your family doctor?

As far as asexuality, check out Asexuality.org. There are many views about it. I pondered it once myself.

I hear a lot from women on this issue, which makes me think it has something to do with pregnancy and, self-esteem. When youre embarassed about your looks, you dont really want to be naked.
medication has been mentioned a lot, but that depends on the person.

Im 20/M and a Virgin. I dont take medication. Never abused as a child. Im ok with my body, sometimes doubt myself, but Im not overwhelmingly self-conscious about myself that I dont want to be naked. Yet, Sex just isnt a big deal to me. saddly, not enough of a deal to help me start a relationship... Im not against it, so I dont think Im Asexual. Im just not really big on it, its like holding hands, or kissing. It would be nice, but its nothing that Im going to make an ordeal about.

Don't take this the wrong way, but at age 19...what's so bad about being uninterested in sex?

Just think of all the unplanned pregnancies, STD's, and emotional attachments you can avoid by simply dating people to get to KNOW them...and not in a biblical sense

That said...the reason I clicked on this thread is because I think my husband may be asexual. Or possibly gay. I don't really know. All I know is that he just plain, flat out, does NOT want it, period. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything at all. And he won't really tell me why. I blame it on myself, my weight, maybe I'm just no good in bed. I don't know. We've been together for 7-1/2 years and it's been this way for maybe 7 years.

All I can say is, if this is really how you feel - just please, when you get to that age, and you find someone you want to date and/or marry....please just be upfront with them from the beginning. So they know that it's not them, it's not that they are unattractive or incompetent in bed...it's your own personal thing.

Asexual is a real thing, you can google and find a lot of information.

But really, at 19....I'd consider it a blessing, not a curse!!

No, I totally see where you are coming from. I'm just jealous that my friends are having "normal" experiences and sort of leaving me in the dust going "I don't want sex!"

There are a lot of negative things about having sex at this age, but I just don't like feeling abnormal. I hate to phrase it that way... I think a better way to say it is not norm, but not weird? Does that make sense? The majority of people don't feel this way (better way to phrase it).

I guess it's a silly thing to be self-conscious about at my age. I feel left out and insecure.

I'm asexual too. Definitely a normal sexual orientation. I've just never wanted to have sex...

Here's a link for you.

AVEN

As has already been stated, asexuality is definitely a possible sexual orientation. Some asexuals want romance, but not sex; others would prefer friendships only; some have physical sex drives that they don't want to satisfy with other people (no desire for romance). Asexuality is quite varied... just as hetero and homosexuality are. There's even an in-between orientation tentatively labeled "grey-A", for somebody who is very slightly sexual... someone who doesn't mind having sex but won't initiate it; somebody who doesn't want to have sex more than a couple of times a year; that sort of thing.

The only time I'd worry is if you'd had a sex drive before and somehow lost it, or if you never went through puberty to begin with--those are indicators of physical problems--but you're nineteen and have never wanted sex.

You might meet somebody you want to have sex with in the future; but for now, whether or not you ever do, you're functionally asexual. It's not something to be ashamed of, though it's less well understood than the majority hetero/homo orientations. From what I can gather, asexuals are about 1-3% of the population. Many aren't actually virgins--they tried it because it was expected, and didn't like it, for example; or they're in a relationship with a sexual person and have sex for that person's sake. So the genetics get passed on, and a new generation of asexuals grows up thinking, "How come I don't want to have sex like everybody else? Am I defective?"

You're not. You're just in the minority. And you're in good company.

Thank you. All of this is truly comforting because I feel like I can't talk to my friends about it without getting the weird looks and the awkward questions. As far as they know I love sex, it's great, it's just that I don't meet anyone I like. I feel like if I were to say the opposite that it would just make everything awkward.

It's really strong in me, this feeling against everything. I don't even like being touched in any form by the opposite sex (or same sex). I'm happy living without that, I just feel like I'm missing out on something. Isn't part of your formative years or your early adulthood to go through rites of passage and experience things? I feel like I am missing out on that.

The only other time, aside from the missing something bit and being different, that I really dislike being this way is when it comes to companionship. I may not want to be touched or have sex but for some reason I really want that closeness that you get through boyfriends or the like. I can't even explain it since it does in a sense sort of contrast what asexuality means to me.

Ugh. Frustrated.

hmmmm. i've never wanted sex, either.............. ever........... have no interest in sex.............. not even to masturbate............. heh.... whatever that means..... i don't think professionals know and are more eager to send me off to a sex therapist that gets me absolutely nowhere, except wasting my time and money..... nuts, yeah.