While I prefer blogging for this sort of thing...

...I figured now would be an appropriate time to involve the community.

Long story short, my sexuality is beginning to take shape, so I was wondering if anyone had advice on how I should approach it in a graceful, well-informed way, how to take it in stride, and how to stay safe of course.

Supportive posts only, please. I know the fact that I'm 16 sends up a red flag, but people tend to underestimate my rationality simply for that reason. While I appreciate concerned or protective sentiments, they aren't what I'm looking for.

Please share your opinion!

Have fun with it, wear a miniskirt, show a little cleavage, watch movies where sex is depicted as healthy and red hot. Talk to your friends about their experiences, read stuff on this thread, flirt with guys who seem nice and have engaging personalities....read magazines, watch the movie Stealing Beauty that's a good one about one's first time with Liv Tyler she's great. Be aware of the trust factor, who to trust after how much time and for what reasons you tend to trust.....

Thanks for the tips.

I'm not much into flirting/dating, my circumstances are really odd, but that movie Stealing Beauty sounds good. Liv Tyler's one of my favorite actresses.

Very intriguing what you said about trust and the reasons behind it. I'll keep it in mind.

My take on things (why should you follow what I say?) is that sexual intimacy comes naturally after establishing trust and caring -- not before.

It is difficult for me to answer this question without actually knowing if you are also indicating that there is someone that you are interested in having sex with/have had sex with.

However, I will say that I honestly don't believe it is imperative to be involved in a serious relationship with the person you have sex with. I do, however, think it is important to:

--not have sex with 3248347234 people
--always use protection
--do not put yourself in a potential situation where sex and any type of mind altering substance/liquid/whatever would mix
--realize that "i'll call you tomorrow' does not necessarily mean that he will call you tomorrow. he may never. if you can't handle that type of hurt, don't do it. believe me, it happens. men suck sometimes. that's just reality.

I think it is awesome that you are thinking about this and trying to approach it gracefully, as you put it.

I don't think you can learn about how you will approach sex from a book or other people's comments. It depends on your own personality and experiences. You can't not make "mistakes," or follow some set of rules to have the "perfect" experience. It doesn't happen/they don't exist. There's a lot of trial and error and mess with relationships (not just sexuality). You have to "practice" just like anything else in life. One learns what is what as one goes along. No one else can tell you how to feel or what to do or not to do because no one else will have had your experiences, met the people you meet (or don't meet) or have your personality and background or know the personality and background of those you meet.

If I were talking to my 16 year old self now, from age 57, I'd tell myself "it will be all right," but I'd tell myself that for every part of my growing up experience between then and here, not just sexuality. I wouldn't push yourself or judge yourself by what others are doing or saying. Your own counsel is really the only one you can go by because you're the only person who knows you.

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magasanguis said:
so I was wondering if anyone had advice on how I should approach it in a graceful, well-informed way, how to take it in stride, and how to stay safe of course.

While I appreciate concerned or protective sentiments, they aren't what I'm looking for.


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You seem to be a bright, organized, well intentioned young person...good for you and welcome to our community...

Graceful is an interesting word when discussing this topic and kudos for you in selecting it...and if I may continue to enlarge upon the image...learn to dance before you join the ballet...

In other words,,try to keep sex as a part of engagement..not the main attraction...Partners who put sex as the priority will be generally self centered and interested only in immediate gratification...if that's some ones bag then mastubation is safer and cheaper if your not after the ego boost....

Secondly,,being as smart as you are,,,you know the world changed in the very late 70s and early 80s...not only can we now engage upon a practice where we can be faced with overwhelming moral decisions when we should be worried about passing a math test,,,but we can die for the price of an orgasm...

Pay attention out there while your having fun..sometimes you'll have to think for three heads...

Be well,

Lenny

Wow, thanks everyone.

Lots of helpful, thought-provoking posts. I'm happy that you've all given me mature, multi-faceted viewpoints to consider.