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Member Since Oct 2008
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#1
I have a gay best friend whom I am very close to. Becuase of our actions, he and I have been accused of being a couple multiple times by our friends. I fell in love with him sometime last year, and he freaked out becuase I developed the feelings for him. Now that I have tried to back off, he is very touchy and will often hold my hand in public. He willingly french kisses me, and we have both to some degree "inappropriately" touched each other (with clothes on). He was molested as a child, and I wonder if he is "gay" becuase of that inccident. He tried having a girlfriend before, but he didn't care about her. He actual cares for me, and I really dont know what I would do without him. i think that we run into many problems in our friendship becuase I am Bi and he wants me to be Lesbian. I feel that he wants me to identify as a lesbian because he won't have a reason to have feelings for me then. I just don't know what to do. Can anyone help?
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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#2
I personally feel that both of you need to be who you are inside with out being influenced by the other ones feelings.... he is gay and cannot become straight just for you and you are who you are and should not become some one you are not just to ensure that he feels safe from his own self.
I had a friend that was gay (R.I.P) and while I was the one female he emotionally bonded to in his teenage & adult years he knew that we could never be more than friends... and not because he was gay, for I did not know he was gay when he first liked me, but because I just did not connect with him in a way that could give us more than friendship... but he never stopped caring for me. * * * * * To answer you other question: "why this why he is gay" My friend that was gay told me that he feels that he turned to males and later made gay a way of life for him due to the fact that he was molested by a man several times as a child, that his own father was never around emotionally or physically and that his mother was to over bearing for him love another female. So yes..... being molested as a male child by a man can have a strong influence on a boy as he grows up. |
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