trans?

I feel mostly like a girl but am physically a guy but im not sure what I am I just dont know what I want to be. trying to write this is kind of hard and confusing for me. I told my dad I was trans and he kind of played it off but he is a very hard person to deal with. (hates gay people is racist) and he somehow made me feel more like a guy im just not sure anymore. I think that if I was given the opertunity to run away, go into identity protection, and get all the operations I would, but I know thats probably never going to happen due to money and other stuff. Im just confused on what my gender is. does anybody have any opinions or questions, I really want to find out... im 15 by the way.

zigmund, issues of gender can be very confusing because sometimes there is not an absolute right or wrong. Personally, I believe people can identify with both genders and they don't need to force themselves to live as one or the other.

I have identified with a lot of masculine traits/behaviors because they seem most natural to me. But, at the same time, I identify myself as a woman and I no longer question my gender because I think that the masculine part of me and the feminine part of me can coexist.

I think society is more confused about my gender than I am--they seem to want me to pick one or the other. I think that is because they don't know how to treat me if I am "something in between."

Most of the time I dress like a man but I also feel okay in a dress. For me, neither one of them are right or wrong. In some ways, it is kinda nice to have all my options open and to embrace any aspect of either gender. That does not make me confused about my gender--that is how I have integrated the masculine and feminine aspects of my own gender identity.

It took a long time for me to work all this out in my head and then to accept it without judging myself. It took even longer for me to feel comfortable enough to express my gender to others.

I can't give you an answer, but I do know that this is something that will take some time for you to figure out. Don't rush yourself. If you do strongly identify yourself as trans, remember that you can always change your mind. You are not locked into just one identity for the rest of your life.

I have learned to express whatever part of me feels natural at the time and to accept that my gender identity fluctuates. Above all, there is not a right or wrong way for me to be and I don't have to declare or justify my gender to others.

PM me if you want to chat.

I hope you can work this out enough so that you can have some peace of mind.

Excellent response from DePressMe.

i don't think i could agree more with depressme. i've been the same way ever since i was a child, i'm neither a woman or a male, though i mostly appear as a woman, and am physically one. just do what feels best

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

I think DPM's answer (which is good) is one of the concerns that is commonly explored when therapists work with a patient who is potentially gender dysphoric. There are a lot of gender roles that exist in any society, and first one must really examine whether the way that one self-identifies is actually something that can be resolved by changing one's attitudes towards the established social norms rather than changing the body.

(i.e., "Do I feel like a woman even though I was born a man? [whatever that means -- it's hard to solidify] vs. "Do I categorize myself as female because I do and feel things i think society says only females usually experience? And is society's definition accurate? Can I still be a male who is happy in a male body, who possesses socially feminine traits?")

There are men who are happy as men despite possessing some typically "feminine" traits and vice versa. And there are also transpeople.

This is a determination that a therapist (someone who has experience with trans patients or specialized training) should be involved with, before more drastic steps are taken to change the body in some way. Not only is the goal to find the "best solution" for someone with the least amount of disturbance to one's life (and the life of family), but also the last thing anyone would want would be to being or even finish such a transition and then realize they're still unhappy, haven't dealt with whatever the core issues were, and might have additional issues now on top of things.

Hi- You probably know this, and this is basically when Jenny described, but it is classified as a mental disorder to be a "Girl trapped in a boy's body"
Do you feel that way? Don't be afraid to be who you are. If you feel like a girl, then you're a girl who's had the misfortune of being born as a male. There's a movie about a girl (born a boy) named Gwen, (a lifetime movie, where she was tragically murdered) and in that movie, there was an organization involved with Gwen for gay and transgendered people, she explained a theory out there that helps explain why some people are transexual. In the womb, we all start out as girls. Eventually, the boys develop into boys. It is theorized that in this process, your mind remained a girl, while your body developed into a male. . .
Anyway, to figure this all out it is necessary to o to a therapist. A friend of mine has a cousin who was born a male and lives with him, She wanted to be a legal female, but didn't want to go to a therapist, but in the end she decided to go, and she was diagnosed, and is now legally a female. Unfortunately, growing up she was highly discriminated against. I don't want to scare you or anything, but when she was in high school, she was just assuming her role as a girl, and a group of guys (who are cowards and shouldn't even be called guys, more like beasts. I would call them dogs, or pigs, but I love dogs and pigs too much to demean them like that) beat her up after school, and took her clothes, making her walk home that way. The school refused to do anything about it. Needless to say, today she is very sensitive about her identity and her past. I'm just telling you this so that maybe you can see the importance of realizing that you are a girl- 100% a girl, but that you have had the misfortune of being born within the body of a guy, but still, you are a girl, and that's okay. Love who you are, and be comfortable in your own skin- that is the best thing you can do for yourself. As for your dad, Technically, you're not gay (unless you like girls) although that fact may not soften him up right away, he will get over it eventually. The fact that he brushed it off and didn't go off, might suggest that he's known all along- that he's noticed it since you were in diapers, and was hoping that he was wrong. Now that he see's he was right, he's hoping if he ignores it, it will go away. But he will get over it and accept it one day.

I hope this has helped.

From a practical point of view it is good you are aware of your inner leanings. It is confusing. Society says you are man or you are woman when we are really emotions and logic of both.

From what you say about your dad, he doesn't want to know. He will probably let you go on being who you are, but confronting him is something he is not ready for from what you say.

Big goal is to get to 18. Once you are 18 and have your HS diploma you can get a job and try to find a way to support yourself. If you aren't in a crisis on the outside, don't make one. Teen years are confusing. Give it time and you will get to know yourself better.