I'm a sex addict, love porn, yet hate it, *TRIGGERS* PLZ HELP!!!!! NEED SUPPORT

I'm 18 and a male, since I was 13 I have always been rather triggered by sexuality, I discovered porn as most do around that age and lets just say it took a tole on me that hurts me mentally worse then anything. I view porn daily, and masturbate to it ( videos ) until I orgasm and repeat over and over until my genetles are sore. I become locked in a trance and its almost if not impossible for me to stop. But once I do I literally want to die. THis I have been told be many of you and my therapist is normal...but what isn't normal is how badly triggered I get from sex "talk" now. I become either one of the following when sex is mentioned Jealous,Confused,Angered, and a number of things I can't quite describe. Lately in PC chat many have brought up sex I get mad I tell them I'm mad and I leave....I can't go "out" like to wal-mart persay without getting triggered after seeing couples holding hands that is the jealous part. I just want freedom of this.....if only porn never came in my life......how can you be so obsessed with something yet hate it in the end as I do with porn/sex?.......I wish I knew.....

Dustin