[salukigirl]

So I would never have considered this before but my boyfriend wants to do this with me. I don't know how I feel about it. Part of me is excited by the fact that he would rathe watch us than a porno or some magazine or something. But another part of me is still pretty conservative when it comes to sex. Plus Im always afraid about other people finding it of course. Has anyone ever done this?

[Brian37]

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson come to mind....Paris Hilton (geez, look what it did for her!)...Rob Lowe (not so good)...

all depends on how much you trust your boyfriend?

if you dont want to....NO means NO

Id hate to see it plastered on the internet if things do go wrong

personally id be horrified of watching my flabby a## on film

[salukigirl]

haha. well since im not famous i dont think very many people would be interested in seeing it. i was more worried about friends and family y'know. yeah im also kinda scared that im gonna watch it and go "oh my god im disusting!" lol

[seeker1950]

I don't think this is a very good idea, Saluki. The very idea that this could be shared with ANYONE else, let alone posted on the Internet, is abhorrant. Even if you feel you trust this man completely, your response should be NO.
I can't tell from your post whether this man with whom you are involved watches pornography. If he does, that in itself should be a big red flag to you as to his intentions and character.
Sex between two people is the most intimate thing in which they can engage. Not meant to be watched by anyone else...one or millions.
Be careful.
Patty

[salukigirl]

yes he does watch prn but rarely. I think he has watched it maybe once in the past month. He is just a lot more sexually explorative than I am. He wants me to watch it with him and I told him I didnt know what my reaction would be. So I watched it by myself to make sure there wouldnt be anything that would trigger me. Last time I did something sexual for a guy it turned out badly bc I had a flashback to my ex and it ended with me bawling my eyes out and I didn't want that to happen with him.

He is very patient with me not being comfortable with certain things and always tells me that I dont have to do anything I don't want to. And if he ever thinks hes doing something that makes me uncomfortable he stops and asks me if Im okay. He knows a little bit about my past and is sensitive about it.

He just always says that if Im gone for a while or he is he would much rather watch him and I than some strangers in a porn to get turned on. Ugh, I dont know.

[Lenny]

How would you feel if you saw someone you loved in a film like this?

That is what you risk...

With Care,

Lenny

[e_sort]

i personally don't think watching porn means you have a bad character, though i know a lot of people feel that way. but i would personally never allow photographs or video of me personally. it just seems like it's destined to end up in the wrong hands, if not on the internet, then some kid will find it or something.

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by e_sort

i personally don't think watching porn means you have a bad character

I totally agree e sort...moderation is the "keyhole" here...

But this may or may not have to do with character...it has to do with risk..

Some are not worth taking..IMHO.

Lenny

[seeker1950]

I'm sticking my neck out here to disagree on the character issue, but pornography really IS a form of victimization, whether the people who are acting and filming this smut think it's fine or not. Someone is being victimized. I know I'm probably digging myself into a hole here, but I can't agree that there is any degree of "moderation" regarding porn.
Patty

[e_sort]

Originally Posted by Lenny

I totally agree e sort...moderation is the "keyhole" here...

But this may or may not have to do with character...it has to do with risk..

Some are not worth taking..IMHO.

yeah absolutely, we're all in agreement on the main issue, i think: don't make the sex tape.

boy that's not an opinion i expected to offer today ....

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I know I'm probably digging myself into a hole here, but I can't agree that there is any degree of "moderation" regarding porn.

Funny...I don't see a shovel in your hand seeker....

Nope...your thoughts are true..to you,,and have personal merit for sure..I think if a generalizaion would be made,,I think your point on victimization makes sense...

However,,like all things,,,the "smut" industry is changing too and I know of familes being nutured and raised with the economics of that industry at their core...

Societies views and practices of/with sex are as reflective of our individual needs/appetites as violence......we strive for a horizon that is fixed upon a canvas of our own fallable humanity...

Your right seeker,,in that the innocent can be captured by entrapeneurs of sexual appetites,,but this innocence is changing too...to a convienience,,which is as worrisome as anything...for fantasy is replacing actuality....

OK...if there is a shovel here..I'll put mine down...

With Respect,

Lenny

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I'm sticking my neck out here to disagree on the character issue, but pornography really IS a form of victimization, whether the people who are acting and filming this smut think it's fine or not. Someone is being victimized. I know I'm probably digging myself into a hole here, but I can't agree that there is any degree of "moderation" regarding porn.
Patty

Im in agreement with you Patty ,

At least from what I have viewed . itsa all about "no contact" for the woman and this lie that they are enjoying it. It does littel to help woemen ahieve whatthey are capable of in the pleasure arena. Its more about using the woman as an orfice with no contact . I mean canines prep better for the act.

Threre are other areas I have not taken the time to view because I don't want to dish out the 50.00 bucks to see sex of a higher spirital nirvana.
so they say....

So Saluki. I think it depends on where your bou friends comming from.

Whats your thoughts on just your view, your purusal of whats out there as if you were not in a relationship.

Thats how i veiw things as not to be swayed in doing something that would later be upsetting for me. I'd be fully informed .

about making a video of yourselves.
Some people are curious and want to see what it looks like from a different angle . I guess that coud be many things for an individual .

If you do make it . Id make it watch it then destroy it .
but see Im not up on the new cams . they may keep it stored in the memory. tossing a cam corder each time would get a bit expensive.

Patricia

[notz]

Saluki,

The only way I would be in agreement to recording is if I were in control of recording it. That would be the only assurance I would have that it would remain private. Then I would have to retain possession of the recording at all times so I could be certain of its whereabouts, viewings by whom and possible duplications.

My biggest fear would be what happens if I'm incapacitated or I die? Now what? Assuming it is still among my possessions, my next-of-kin or designee would assume legal possession of the recording. Who would that be for you?

These type recordings can become a pandora's box even between legally married couples. The court's have a harder time distinguishing ownership and electronic rights in domestic disputes. Too bad we have to watch our back all the time!

notz

[salukigirl]

Yeah I understand. I hate thinking that it would ever come to that or that there would ever be a time where I couldnt trust him but then again Ive thought the same thing about exes. I dont think hes the type of person that would show that kind of thing around after a break up no matter what. But he already knows that I would have to be aware of its whereabouts at all times and he knows how conservative I am with things like this in the first place.

And Im the one with the camera so it would be using my property that I would have control of if we ever did break up. I feel pretty safe about hiding it. And I would probably use a separate memory card just for that so it couldnt be thrown in with other stuff.

He has gotten me to open up a lot sexually over the past few months and it has turned out better than expected. I want to try and expand my views on sex bc I know he wants me to even though he wont admit it. And the fact that hes so careful to not offend me or hurt me in the least bit just makes me want to do it more.

maybe hell watch it, not find it attractive like he thought he would and then hell want to destroy it lol

[deliquesce]

oh well, up to you.

i would personally never do it. exes can turn into ppl very different from those we knew when we were dating them.

[e_sort]

Originally Posted by notz

Too bad we have to watch our back all the time!

so to speak ... :P

[salukigirl]

well its my camera so it would automatically be in my posession if we ever did break up

[deliquesce]

i'd be worried that he'd make another copy for himself, though .

You have to ask yourself one question....

Will it bother you if somone other than you or your boyfriend saw it ?

If not then fine if it would then dont do it as you never know what the future holds.

[Eggshells]

I think it's a bad idea and you'll live to regret it. Not because I think porn is bad but b ecause your boyfriend could make copies and upload it to youporn.com or someplace else. Once it's done, it's done andyou don't know where or how it may get out. Maybe if he were your husband it'd be different but even so it's a safe bet not to show your face by wearing some kind of costume or mask. Just to protect yourself.

[filifera]

You never know when something like that could come back to haunt you.

• You break up with your boyfriend/spouse. Your sex tape turns up the next day on the internet. Even if you're nobody in particular, plenty of people will see it, and some of them will know you.
• You get in a child custody dispute with a future former spouse. The sex tape surfaces when the spouse's lawyer's investigators start digging.
• You decide to get into a career that requires extensive background checks, for example working with children or vulnerable adults. The sex tape surfaces during the investigation.
• You decide to run for public office. Your political enemies find the tape.
• Your kid's classmate finds out about your kid's mom's sex tape, and bullies your kid.
• You decide to turn over a new leaf, put your past behind you, and get on with a new life. Someone from your past finds the tape, finds you, and decides to blackmail you.
• The religious wingnuts finally get enough votes in congress to pass extreme anti-pornography laws, your sex tape surfaces, and you are flogged, then stoned to death.

If you need to ask if it's a good idea, you already know it's not. Let the people in the adult entertainment business make sex tapes, that's what they're paid to do.

[Malachite]

Dear SalukiGirl,

Making a sex tape, is an incredibly, terrible idea! There is a good chance, it will come back to haunt you. Do you really want such a liability, hanging over your head? My recommendation is totally pragmatic. It is devoid of any moral judgement.

I wish you the best,

Larry