Are You Hiding Your Kink From Your Therapist?

I have something I'd like to be able to discuss with my therapist, but it's too embarassing, and I am scared of the incorrect conclusions my T might draw from the information. We have discussed some sexual stuff....avoiding too much detail....in the past, but this is diff. Have you all ever hidden a kink from a therapist? Why? Did you ever tell them? How did it go?

Hello locust,

frankly, I haven't ever discussed kink issues with any T. And I wouldn't, if not really necessary for the therapeutic process.

I think most psychologists and psychotherapists do lack the necessary knowledge and do not provide much more than a mere superficial sight, since they neither have any experience nor special qualifications. So in most cases one will be only confronted with bias, more or less academically disguised.

The question if putting something up as topic is always, if there is a good reason to do so. As long as there are not arousing serious problems physically, psychically, socially, financially or professionally I don't see a sufficient reason to spread personal and intimate information without knowing what will happen to it.

If your T is qualified and agrees to first listen off-record, well, then okay. Otherwise I would prefer to discuss such matters with good friends who are really trustworthy.

Also there are several special interest social websites, where a few people can be found that give good advice on general questions. But of course it takes time to get a reliable orientation in these environments. Faster is asking the T.

Or asking a bit more specifically here in this section.

I don't talk sex with my therapist. I would if I thought it were pertinent, but otherwise it would just be sort of embarrassing...she is a somewhat motherly individual...

Is your kink causing you anxiety? Do you feel sex is something you need to address with your therapist in order to make progress?

I agree with bluenarciss about using the web as a sort of unofficial resource. There is an amazing amount of information on the web about an unbelievable range of kinks! I have a truly odd (though harmless) fetish, and was absolutely astonished to discover others on the web who are into exactly the same thing. Sometimes just realizing that there are like-minded people can put your mind at ease.

IF the kink was something that was harmful then I would do my best to talk to my T about it - other wise I why bother, let it go.

It would be wonderful to be completely honest with a T about all your peccadilloes, but most Ts simply can't handle the whole truth. They're only human.

Just one quick additional remark:

Listings of so-called kink-aware professionals (physicians, therapeuts and so on) can be found via internet query. Kink-awareness means they shall be open-minded and not too judgemental.

Thats why I was diagnosed with Depression and not bipolar. i never wanted to tell my thereapist that I had manic episodes becasue I was really embaresed. I get really promiscuis lol.

my therapist made it clear she has no formal training in sexual addictions/treatments....I confronted her about my problems and she was understanding and listened, but really had no answers

Does the 'kink' have anything at all to do with what you're in therapy for?

If it does share it, if it doesn't, why does the T need to know? I also think some topics have gender limitations to them when it comes to therapists.