Can't Keep It Up

So I'm mostly concerned that this could be a health issue. My boyfriend is 25 and before we started having sex he got tested for STDs as did I. Both came back negative and I'm on birth control so we stopped using condoms after a couple weeks of having sex.

At first I thought maybe it was because of the condoms because I know that many guys say they can't feel as much with one on so it's harder to maintain an erection. But even though we stopped using them he still rarely has an erection the full time. He is the biggest guy I've been with and didn't know if it being big has someting to do with it? He's almost 26 and has been keeping up on things like testicular cancer screenings etc... and has always been perfectly healthy. He exercises everyday and his body fat percentage is average. He does smoke cigarettes but a pack will last him about 2-3 days so he doesn't smoke that much either. He eats very healthy and stays away from junk food, sugar etc... mostly drinking water all the time.

He swears it has nothing to do with me and I believe him. He does get a full erection right off the bat but no matter what it goes away after maybe 10 minutes. I'm afraid to say something to him about it because I don't want him to feel inadequate or like he doesn't please me. Could this indicate something else wrong with him physically?

That's weird. It's sort of like what happens to me on certain antidepressants. I get excited easily enough, but then I can't seem to, you know, GET anywhere, and then I lose interest...

But it doesn't sound like he is on meds.

Do you know if he can masturbate OK?

It's complicated...there are so many things, mental and physical, that can impact performance.

I think if you talk about it out of concern for his health, he may take that as a caring gesture, not a criticism. If I were in his situation, I'd see a doctor...the situation doesn't sound like much fun!!

He said that since we've started having sex he really hasn't masturbated at all. I doubt, if he did have problems with it, that he would say anything to me about it. He has been to the doctor for a suspect lump that turned out to be just a cyst and the doctor said he was healthy in that area.

He's not on any anti-depressants. He is a graduate student and will be defending his thesis in December so I don't know if the stress from writing his thesis combined with classes may be effecting his concentration or mood? He still seems really chipper like normal but he is a guy so maybe he's just not talking to me about being stressed.

The thing is it doesn't really effect performance or my ability to....y'know....get the job done. Both of us are still satisfied. Luckily, he's big enough that, even if he doesn't have an erection, it's still big enough so it's not like it makes things more difficult in that area. I'm mostly just worried that it could point to other problems. And I know that things like diabetes etc... can effect that even though it's not a sexual disorder.

I do get your point that if I bring it up with a concern for his health that he won't take it as me putting him down. I just know that that's a really embarassing thing to bring up. It'd be the same if he came to me because he suspected I had a problem. Even though it would be for my health, I would still be really embarassed that he brought it up in the first place. Oh well.

Thanks for the advice.

Sounds like a yearly check up is in order.

any number of factors can cause erectile dysfunction

medications, high blood pressure, diet, lack of exercise, etc.

if your willing have him pop a Viagra...he'll have one hell of a headache, but he can drive nails with it....I know I did

he does exercise, isn't on any medication, has a very healthy diet and is only 25 yrs old. im perfectly fine with it bc, frankly when he does have an erection its almost oo much for me and becomes painful bc its so big. so its not that im dissatified with it, its that im worried that it might mean other problems somewhere else.

Have you ever asked him what he thinks it is about?
... if he knows its not about you then maybe he has an ideal as to what it is.
- emotional maybe?

Hi,

He is not having any problem. Just think positive.

Mack

he always attributes it to stress. he says that he is stressed about classes plus work and trying to write his thesis.

In that case I would suggest that you give him the time he needs to relax and not pressure him about sex until his work load has lessened.... and in the mean time take advantage of the ten minutes he is good for and enjoy.

well....the situation was resolved. i finally brought it up to him and this is what we discovered. i really only know one way to go to get the job done on my part and he said that when were in the position it doesnt feel as good for him and that does notice that he starts to lose it in that position. so, instead we just switched it up a little bit and it was fine last night. but he said hes so concerned with making sure that im satisfied that he doesnt want to change positions if im liking it so i guess thats why he wasn't keeping an erection. so, long story short....the problem has now been fixed thanks for everyone's help.

Saluki ,, when some of us guys are * hung * like that ,,, it is a worry for the girl if we might hurt them ...

:O

WMD.

Meant to edit this : >>>>. IMHO. [ LOL ]

* INSERT >>>. Disclaimer here ;,,,,,,, * From the Law Offices of * Belch , Grunt , & Scratch .


WMD.

Stress can cause more than you can believe. But he's young. Hang in there. Viagra will help. Cut the 100 mg tabs in half. Less chance of a headace. They work very well.

Good luck. Been there done that. It's most likely (NOT YOU.!!!)