I can't cum with only penetration

I've been with my bf a year. I have difficulties cumming easily. I am not able to cum with just penetration even if we try a bunch of different positions. I also don't cum very fast when he plays with my clit. I tried explianing that with any guy I've been with I can't jsut cum with penetration but he's persistant and believes that there must be one position in which i can cum with just penetration....I've lied before saying that I came to make him happy...and this was not a good idea...he found out I was lieing and I felt horrible...I care about him alot...and cumming is not a big deal to me...and I ahve told him this...I love when he penetrates me...and that's all I care about...cumming is just icing on the cake...he's made me cum before by touching my clit..I don't really know why he makes a big deal out of this...I'm afraid that I'm not making him happy in bed...and now everytime we have sex...I get stressed out...all i want is to be loved and cared for...cumming does not matter to me...he is my man and I love him for who he is...I've told him this before as well....I don't think he believes me...I dunno what to do

it is quite normal for a woman not to be able to reach orgasm with penetration only. don't feel you are alone hon. most guys would love to think that only their penis can do the trick. maybe get some books or do internet search to find things for him to read so he can see that. good luck hon.

Orgasms are very tricky. I can't either. I can get "off" from clitoris stimulation, but not penetration. I have been very very close though, felt like I was going to pee, so I held back. I bet if I let go I woulkd have had the big "O" and seen what the big flippen deal was..

Anyway, everytime that I was really close, it was when my boyfriend and I were really close and he was very deep inside. Our chests will be squished on each other, that's how close we have to be. I would research some stuff and see what other things you can try. Another thing: you have to be VERY turned on before sex and during sex too.... try some freaky foreplay..

Good luck

I have found using a vibrating penis ring helps me to have an orgasm with my husband..... this way you get both penetration & clitoral stimulation - the best of both worlds.

i dont know of that many women that can have an orgasm from their g-spot. most guys can't even find it. my ex did on me and it wasn't pleasant lol. Took me about 2-3 years of having sex before I found out what an orgasm even was! Now, I don't switch it up because I know how to get it done and that's the only way its worked for me. Its different for every female though. I would suggest masturbation to determine what you like. Once you do it for yourself, you'll be better equipped to show/tell him how to do it too.

Two-thirds of all women cannot have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation. You're perfectly normal in that.

Do you masturbate? Masturbation is the way we learn how our bodies respond to certain touches, and we can teach that to our lovers. Also, telling your boyfriend how you like to be touched, and when he's touching you right, will help him learn what stimulates you. You should also tell him what doesn't work for you, in a nice way.

Some women don't come very fast, some do. Both of you need some patience and relaxation, and don't worry if it hasn't happened in a short time.

One position that might help is for him to enter you from behind, while stimulating your clitoris with his hand in front.

A very important thing is to have enough foreplay before he enters you. If he can get you really aroused first, you might find it easier to come, whether vaginally or clitorally. Have you tried sex toys and vibrators? They might help, and they can be fun for both of you!

Unfortunately, guys have big egos and sometimes put too much pressure on their ladies to have orgasms, which only makes it less likely that she will. There are many books that might help him understand it's not his fault OR your fault if you can't come from intercourse. Here's a highly recommended book you might get:

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

This sounds entirely normal. My wife and I have just adjusted our intimacy accordingly. In fact its a bit of a turn on for us both, for me to engage in afterplay (soft kissing, touching, whispering), as she brings herself to orgasm manually. A COUPLE of times.

I don't know If this is your partner's issue, but I had to overcome a LOT of silly male insecurity before we got to this point. "I'm not enough??" and that sort of thing.

Bollocks. Tell him to put Conway Twittty singing "Slow Hand" on his ipod, and listen to it over and over.

Seconding the motion that a)extended fore and after play are in order and b)penetration from behind should be experimented with.

Have him to thrust deeper. When I was with my ex boyfriend I could cum really quick if we were missionary style with him on top. this caused his pelvis area to stimulate my clit while still getting deep penetration. Sometimes if he can use his palms to put pressure on your pelvic area maybe just above the hair line while still thrusting, that will cause your gspot to be stimulated more

I agree with Maven that masturbation is the best way to find out the details about what, where, when, how hard, etc. Maybe he even watches you and rubs your thighs or plays with your breasts while you do it. That's very sexy and a great learning experience for him. In this age of empowered women, you can also take things into your own hands (literally). Go cowgirl, and while you're riding into the sunset, reach down and give your clit all the massaging it needs just the way you like it.

In general, it takes 2 people to tango. Just explain to him that he is not "giving you an orgasm". You are working towards your orgasms together. That's why sex is best/easiest between 2 committed, loving people. Ultimately, if you can't have an orgasm from intercourse, just get close and then move on to the next thing. Oral is always a very welcome choice for the ladies.

This all takes trust and communication. I tell my older teen kids that if you can't talk in detail about sex with your partner, you shouldn't be having it.

Lots of really, really good posts here.

Oasis, he's likely making a big deal over it because it makes him feel insecure. While it's natural for penetration alone to not do the proverbial trick, a LOT of men don't realize that. When "he" (so to speak) doesn't bring you to climax by what "should" (likely in his mind) be the "main event" (so to speak...I really do beat around the bush when I post, don't I? ), it makes him feel like he didn't do "his job" or that he otherwise is inadequate. It's not that you're making him unhappy in bed, it's that he feels he's making you unhappy.

It's not that he doesn't believe you either, though I suspect the faking orgasms likely hurt his sexual self esteem a little (not that I'm chastising you. I understand what you were trying to do ). It's just something he, I think, wants to do for you. It matters to him more than it sounds like it does to you.

He needs to understand what brings you pleasure, but he can only do that if you do. I would recommend talking to him about what you enjoy, what makes you climax. Try to incorporate some things from that talk into the bedroom, and see if things go better.

Lastly, let him know how this makes you feel. Sex should never be stressful, especially with someone you love. Try to relax, try to get HIM to relax (I'd wager he's just as stressed), and take things as they come.

I hope I was of help!

Harley47 I like your play on words. It's nice to talk about sex and laugh to.

My oasis this does seem to be a common issue. It's not the guys fault. Thats just the nature of the business. Society has programed men to believe differently, that is up to them to prove there ability. I've been married for 18 years. I've never come from sex alone. It always involves more. IT doesn't always happen and IT doesn't always have to happen. The process to getting there and letting someone give you the attention you deserve is often plenty. When you reach that point if it happens great, if it's a little O great, if it's a big O I don't know anyone who would pass that up. But big O's are hard to come by. Guys make a big deal out of O's. I think guys have to have them and they don't always take alot of effort. For women take oodles of effort and sometimes as a woman it's nice to just enjoy and not be bothered by the big O. I do understand preformance anxiety. It's difficult to know that the out come for you is going to affect someone else more than it does you. My H and I run into that alot. I have preformance anxiety. There is a remedy for preformance anxiety but we are not talking about lowering inhabitions right now.

My wife also has this problem. We have found that oral sex, with her cumming first before penetration, is a good solution. Sometimes she has another orgasm from penetration after her initial orgasm from oral.

I'm sorry to say hun but your fella needs to stop thinking about his pride. He needs to start thinking about your relationship and what does make you cum, rather than doesn't. You should just be firm with him, tell him that the stress and pressure of making him feel like a man; is making you unhappy. Good luck

Sex takes two people.

From what I read, your partner is being very selfish & your sort of letting him get away with it. (probably without realising)

Have you told your partner how you feel?

I only just recently brought up the "sex talk" with my husband. He was cummimg really quickly, without even thinking about giving me an orgasm. It was all so "one sided" and I didn't even think that he thought of me, which in turn made me not want sex at all. (amongst other things, eg. Medication alters my libido, tired looking after my 8 month old etc.)

Please tell your partner how you feel.

Good luck ;-)