[angelsofthesilences]

I'm 19. All my friends have had sex, even those younger than me. They all ask me why I'm still a virgin and I tell them its because I'm eaiting for the right person but in reality I'm afraid of it.

[bonaire]

(possible ptsd trigger alert here)

Back when I was your age, I was afraid and yet eager too. If I had to do it all over again, I would have tried to hold off for a few more years (I started at 17). Young people are drawn to it from the media, friends, etc. It's almost like "you have to" do it because of all this, but if that's not in your plans - great for you. Seriously, it's ok to wait. But address your anxiety and fears before getting into a serious relationship. Can you imagine having a wonderful marriage and sexual relationship to a great life-partner knowing he's the only one? Very few of us can in today's western world.

One warning for you too, which I hate to bring up. My wife's first sexual encounter was in college. She was attacked by a guy who was at a club they were dancing at (after they left the club) - got her pregant by that too. She quit college due to that, whole life changed. Sex, done wrong, is very damaging. So, be careful out there. Also, when dating guys in college or out in the world - you have to make it clear what you want and don't want. Under the right circumstances, it's great. Be strong and firm and make sure you go out with friends when you first start dating a guy to get to know him.

In my opinion, be afraid of the person, not the act. Many guys are not interested in real relationships - just the physical parts. These people will let you down - look for someone with a heart and a head (on their shoulders) who knows themself well and who doesn't have any hidden agenda.

[chaotic13]

Angels...At 18-19 I was afraid of IT too. I had seen a lot of things and some of the fears I had were very real. I would never recommend the course of action I took to confront them.

All I can say to you is... With the right person...hopefully your fears will be less.

[Rhapsody]

Maybe think of it this way.... when the right person comes along for you the fear will not be strong and the love will happen both with in the heart and the body.

[Melis85]

Don't worry about it I am 23 and still a virgin and scared to death lol Just wait till you know you are ready!!

[tinyflyer02]

I know exactly how you feel and I'm 21 almost 22. I know it frustrates my boyfriend because we get so close to it. I can't even handle dealing with oral sex without freaking out. I feel I'm with the right one, but he also scares me to death when he gets angry.

[Brian37]

I was 26 before I went out on a "real date"...ended up marrying her

nothing wrong with being a virgin....beats STD's and unwanted pregnancies

it will happen...its frustrating...seems awkward...and you feel like a freak sometimes

but it all passes...trust me....

[lynn P.]

Hi,
first of all there nothing wrong with waiting and truly it's none of their business. If you're afraid, then you should try to figure out - what are you afraid of. Is it that you need to be educated more, afaid it's going to hurt, or afraid of being hurt emotionally. When it does happen make sure it with a special person you care about. Don't let your friends make you feel bad. It sad the way young people approach sex so casually and they're doing it at younger and younger ages. Find out what's making you feel afraid. When it does happen it should be very special and meaningful. Take care.

[muse]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

Maybe think of it this way.... when the right person comes along for you the fear will not be strong and the love will happen both with in the heart and the body.

I'd say this is very true!! I myself was very, VERY afraid of having sex for what felt like the longest time... I'm 18 now lol, so not very long at all. XD After all the talk about consequences, unwanted pregnancies, STDs, etc., I just felt overwhelmed. It was difficult for me to be even somewhat intimate with a guy.

Then, I met the guy I'm currently with... and for the first time, I feel comfortable with my body around a man. It's kind of nice. I'm still a virgin, but that will probably change soon, because I feel like this is "right." I'm not desperately in love, I'm not delusional... I just feel comfortable. Not scared of what might happen.

Long story short, it's perfectly normal to be afraid, it's okay to hold off on sex because of that, and overall waiting is A GOOD THING!!! In the end, you will have more respect for yourself, and you are treating YOURSELF right by waiting for a person to come along who eases those fears a little. That might not happen automatically--you might have to talk about it with him first, and go slow. THAT IS OKAY!!! Better to miss out on a few flings than have to live with a bunch of regrets, right? Sex should be for YOU, not for anybody else.