My wife and control over me.

Hi all, I am wondering if my wife is getting too much control over me. First all I am the husband of a 45 year old wonderful woman. I am 49 and we have been married for 29 years in July.

Our marriage has been good over the years, having bad and good times. We have bickered and argued maybe a normal to slightly high amount, but nothing ever physical.

We have tried, usually a pure sexual fetish thing, where my wife was the boss. She has the personality of the more dominate one in our marriage. She is pretty assertive to most everyone who knows her, an in charge and powerful woman.

When she was the boss it ended in a few days with me not listening or being bad so she would spank me.

Well at a recent family get together my mother was making comments and said, ".....and Josie controls Ron"...I was embarrassed and she said it as a fact. It was then I knew my wife did control me but I fought it all of these years and didn't understand it.

So I read about FemDom and Loving Female Authority marriages. I got some books and showed my wife everything about it. We both learned a lot and we decided it would be something that we should try. I mis-understood what it meant. It was ALWAYS about me and my fetish of a dominant wife. It wasn't about actually being attentive to my wife, or being subserviant to my wife. It was about me!....after I read about the loving female authority I learned my role and then I was ready to be submissive to my wife, truely submissive. All of those years wasted on it being a kink, not a true lifestyle.

My wife makes all the rules and I follow them. I ask her before I spend money or buy something. It is not a BDSM or like that, we are in a D/S, Loving female authority relationship. We joke and laugh, we tickle each other! We are both very happy. I am so attentive to her, I kiss her and hug her all the time, just as she likes. I masage her daily or every two days. We have an active sex life and always have had one, but its usually at her desire and I am not allowed to enter her until she says so and she controls if and when I orgasm. I am not allowed to masturbate unless I ask....I follow these orders as she knows when I lie and I know better than to lie to my Wife.

Now she does, as often as she wants,whatever she likes to me, which involves some BDSM activities, including bondage and sex toys. I enjoy it too. Our sex is often and it is great and my wife would say the same.

The best thing my wife likes about our new female led marriage is we do not fight. No bickering no smart remarks, nothing. The reason is I am not allowed to talk back. She lets me have an opinion but I can only say it when she says I can and I do not yell or raise my voice. If she yells or verbally berates me I just listen and say I am sorry. It works out well. Its been about 2 or 3 months and we have not had any bickering or anything. If I do get verbal, (very very rarely), with her she will let me say it for a few seconds then I am disciplined when she decides to.

This leads me to my only concern....spanking. I am spanked weekly even if I've been good, as a reminder of who is in charge. If I break any of her rules I am also spanked. The severity of the spanking depends of what I have done wrong. I was spanked last night for tipping too much at a eatery. We were with two of our grown kids, so she didn't say anything, so I didn't think I did anything wrong.

When we got home she let me have it. I tried to defend myself and I did get a bit loud and thats where I made my mistake. I talked back. I had to go upstairs and she told me to wait in the corner.

She came up and told me to turn around, pull my shorts down and put my hand on the table. That area is where she spanks me if I am bad. She has another procedure for my weekly spanking. So she then blasts me about tipping and how I tipped too much. She then said, "don't you have to ask me before you buy anything?" and I said, "yes ma'am", so she said how if I know about asking before I buy anything why did I just tip what I want? Why didn't I ask her how much to tip? I forgot to ask and she was right, I messed up.

She told me to bend over and she only spanked me three times on each cheek but it hurt really really bad. I even cried. I've only cried a few other times. She never spanks in anger and she always explains what I've done wrong. She always says she isn't doing it to be mean and I know so. I have to say thank you and I love you when she is done. We then kiss and hug. She is so sweet to me and I love her deeply. She only spanks me when I deserve it and it keeps our marriage happy and strong. We both feel our marriage is more strong and happy than ever.

I even have an engraved collar/necklace she put on me recenlty, one side is a private message about our marriage and love for each other. On the other side it simply says, "Property of Josie"....I feel so attached to her.

Sometimes after she spanks me as just part of being kinky before sex I do not get as hard as I'd like. I wonder if her spanking me is causing some erection problems? I also wonder if she can spank me too much? Or is it a personal matter between myself and wife?

I love her so much.

glad you and your wife have found a way to make your marriage work well. I know i would rather be spanked than be stuck in a loveless lifelong marriage.

Jet Doc,

Sounds like there's a lot going on for you. I didn't hear any specific question in your post so I just wanted to say that I hear you. If the spankings are too much could you talk to your wife about it? I don't know if that's allowed or not as I'm only just now getting into that world.

Hope you have a good day.

Tara

If you are no longer enjoying the spanking and it is inferring with you being able to obtain an erection.... then I would talk to your wife about this matter.

May I ask? - are you enjoying this female domination or would you like it to change and you be more in charge?