[BrokenNBeautiful]

hi, how are you all doing here?

having any interesting dreams?

Me, I had a doozy last night.

I dreamt I was inside this contraption, kind of like a hot-air balloon, only I was inside it (not in a basket, in the *balloon*).

I was in this yellow-and-red striped balloon-thing, with a bunch of rough-looking men, we were all holding on to a rope, in a circle along the parimeter of the balloon.

there was no ventilation, we wre all zipped up inside, there was this bitter, sickeningly sweet odor inside, too, which made me nauseous.

We were trapped.

We were floating in this balloon, out on the bay, rocking up adn down, back and forth.

I was throwing up, along with my fellow prisoners.

Kept waking up and dreaming this over and over again all night and all morning.

Could not get up today until 1pm.

Billi

[estrella]

That does not at all sound like a decent dream, and to have it over and over must have been even more unpleasant than the actual dream. Did anything during the day trigger that dream, do you know?

In most recent times, I've had these nightmares where what actually happened in the dream was very repetitive. There would be this man in a long coat, and I would not ever be able to see his face. And he and I would always be in this dark room, on a grey bed- everything was grey, save me, though. He'd abuse me and then shoot me. They were very strange. :/

Another weird dream was also a nightmare, where it was stormy. The room I was in in the dream was pretty dark; only a little bit of blueish light flooded the room. I was on my bed, laying down, and crying from fear and frustration. I tried to get up, but my attempts were futile because of this medicine that I was supposed to take. I'm not so sure. But it felt very real and I was really scared. Especially when I came to realise that it wasn't the meds keeping me in my place, but a kiddish looking clown, dressed in light blue. He only stared down at me from across the room, and it was like he was dragging me towards him, yet he wasn't even moving at all. He would have been alright had it not been for the look that indicated that something unpleasant was going to happen.

That second dream I can justify, though, so it's not that strange.

Aww. I'm sorry billi!! Maybe you trigged (as said above)? Maybe you saw a parachute or something with prisoners (or something with rough looking men?) If you are in someway nauseous when flying, maybe that contributed to everything?

Oooh! Maybe you were stuffy in the room (or wherever) you were sleeping, which lead to the no-ventilation? And regarding the scent, maybe it could have been something that you didn't like the smell of? (When you said "sickeningly sweet," I thought of a candle. Perhaps it's that?)

Well, just take it easy billi!

[Perna]

Doesn't sound fun at all.

How did you know you were over the bay if you were inside? Does any of it make you think of anything; doesn't sound like you knew the men and the situation was certainly surreal so it's probably about an ongoing issue you're dealing with personally. I'd look for ways I felt trapped or that I was blowing out of proportion (like a ballon) or ways I was behaving/things I was thinking that made me feel like "throwing up" because I didn't agree with them.

[AShadow721]

I googled your explaination of that smell. All I really got was ammonia. I think your dream has mostly to do with the smell that you've been smelling, since you smell it even when you're not dreaming. Whatever the meaning of the dream, probably has something to do with the trauma/situation around the smell, or the way the trauma made you feel. I have nightmares like this too that don't make much sense, instead of having nightmares playing the trauma like a movie.

[AShadow721]

Originally Posted by estrella

That does not at all sound like a decent dream, and to have it over and over must have been even more unpleasant than the actual dream. Did anything during the day trigger that dream, do you know?

In most recent times, I've had these nightmares where what actually happened in the dream was very repetitive. There would be this man in a long coat, and I would not ever be able to see his face. And he and I would always be in this dark room, on a grey bed- everything was grey, save me, though. He'd abuse me and then shoot me. They were very strange. :/

Another weird dream was also a nightmare, where it was stormy. The room I was in in the dream was pretty dark; only a little bit of blueish light flooded the room. I was on my bed, laying down, and crying from fear and frustration. I tried to get up, but my attempts were futile because of this medicine that I was supposed to take. I'm not so sure. But it felt very real and I was really scared. Especially when I came to realise that it wasn't the meds keeping me in my place, but a kiddish looking clown, dressed in light blue. He only stared down at me from across the room, and it was like he was dragging me towards him, yet he wasn't even moving at all. He would have been alright had it not been for the look that indicated that something unpleasant was going to happen.

That second dream I can justify, though, so it's not that strange.

I'm reminded of a part of this book I have read about CSA from these dreams. There was a woman in this book that was triggered by the color blue, it made her sick, and then after intense therapy, she remembered that when she was abused, her abuser would push her face into the blue carpet and that was all she could see. Maybe these colors had something to do with a childhood trauma and also the clown, maybe it was a toy you actually had?

This makes me think that maybe the ballon was a toy or something similar present during the trauma that she experienced that was associated with this smell?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Thank you everyone.

It took a while for me to reply because the replies did not show in my email box.

Anyway, I think I have an answer, at least in the short-term.

I like to go out on the bay on commericial cruises and somtimes when we are waiting to board the boat, we are corralled on a dock that moves up and down in the water. I feel claustrophobic crowded up with lots of ppl and it was hot out there; no breeze and the sun beat down on me.

I felt so nauseous from the up and down motion (dock was on a pontoon) and the heat and the crowd that I had to go back up the ramp and wait outside before we boarded.

Still don't know why it was a baloon, or why it was red and yellow striped, except many times I walk past a house being fumigated and often the tent is red-and-yellow.

Billi