what's wrong with me? Disturbing dreams

I really wasn't sure where to post this but it is about dream so here goes.. [I've posted around a few sites, also sent it into ask aswell..]

I'm not quite sure how to put this but here goes... I'm 17 - I [I believe] have instrusive thoughts I'm probably not so 'well' mentally.. I just woke up from a dream about me looking on the internet [which is like my real life as i spend a lot of time on the internet] and coming across this website of this women who had pictures of her and her dog, sexual stuff. in the dream I try and look away and cover it up with my hand and close it down and if I remember there was a comment sectioned in the dream showing on the website of someone commenting "how could you do that?!" i think. this is horrible to type.. I feel so gross, in real life I felt something down there, felt arousal while dreaming [have to say I never "feel" anything sexually, I think I used to but I believe my depression is the cause of it - I do sometimes when I dream about other people but rarely when I actual think/fantasy about sex with someone I do sometimes feel something but it goes quick] and in the dream it seems the same.. but my mum and sister then come into my room I woke up as they were leaving. the first thoughts when I woke was disgusting wrong how could i dream this please STOP wrong wrong stop stop why? - I still felt like I was feeling something down there aswell and still like 1min after I had thought how could I of dreamed something like that?, I got up quickly and went to the bathroom to try and take my mind of off it. it is because I focused on it? - in the dream it seemed I also recongnised it was wrong as I remember I had such thoughts while I was still asleep dreaming, I have had other dreams that are horrible [I think I remember dreaming going on the internet and across that site before, I just dont know though. i also had a horrible dream of a man and a baby it was horrible and one with my dad/family members aswell why?. can't remember if i felt anything then though] I cannot control what I dream, how do I know if it's really what im like? because of my instrusive thoughts, I have to think 'am i getting turned cause of that?' so I often focus a lot on one place of my body that may end up feeling something/twitching, but I read if you do that than you're most likely to 'feel' something anyway - is this going into my dreams? i cant control it, with my thoughts - I don't think i've been getting as many anymore as I've been trying to control them or try to keep myself getting so worked up over them, I can't say stop like i do when i get a thought [even though that doesn't really work and I end up hitting my head], it's horrible. I want to be someone else, to think differently.. I did stuff when I was really young - are these dreams and thoughts a reflection of that, stuff that I did? I just don't know what to do it's horrible I'M disgusting. any help? any advice? what is this?! please. [thinking back to the dream, it was like myself in the dream was about to masturbate could that be why I felt arousal but what if myself in the dream was about to masturbate because of what was on the website? i just cant shake it out of my head - i keep focusing on one part of my body to see if i do feel anything, that doessnt help does it?]

I wasn't sure where to put this so I put it here; sorry for bad grammar. kind of rushed it. Oh and I can't speak to anyone about this, I never will - I couldn't even if I could - I don't go out, see or speak to anyone
I'm so messed up over this plus with the instrusive thoughts that I've been having for years - I just don't know what to do.. I think about things that I don't want to, I just start thinking about it for no reason and then have to think if I get anything from it and it goes over and over i end up crying about it sometimes.. oh and I mean sexual instrusive thoughts, some people get violet/violence ones but I never have..

I know this may not be the right place to post it but I looked around and wasn't sure

thanks..

What do you mean by intrusive thoughts? Do you mean that you frequently think and/or dream about incestuous and inappropriate sexual behavior?

It's like an image that randomly pops into my head about anything that I really don't have any control over, so yeah.. not dream about it, no.. sometimes but it's very rare I always feel worse when it happens in my dreams..

there is some quick info of what intrusive thoughts are on wiki if you want to go look [I can't post any links yet]