[shezbut]

The title explains the problem pretty well.

My mom, ex-hub, and other family members are in the recurrent nightmares. Mom is always against me in the dream. She gets the other people on her side, always.

Even people that are "independent" see her side and turn against me. No matter what I say, who I try to reason with, no one supports me. Even my sister, who my mom disowned 10 years ago, took mom's side. I cry, I try to reason, but it's pointless.

In last night's nightmare, my daughters and I were kidnapped. The kidnapper threatened to kill us if he wasn't given $1 mil. He called my family and they straight out refused to pay him. The kidnapper was kind of at a loss, because (in the dream) my family had BIG money and lots of pull in politics. Walls were covered with photos of grandparents and lots of ex-presidents on vacations.

I suppose that I'm meaningless to all family members in these dreams ~ that's the gist. Weird! I am freaking tired!

[Perna]

It does sound to me like you feel you are meaningless to your family or that they are giving you a hard time or excluding you and your daughters.

But the part where "independent" people see your mom's side and turn against you, makes me feel you are not feeling very good about yourself. Since it is our own dreams we are dreaming, we set them up and are all the people in the dream. That you "let" your mother win in your dream does not sound like your self esteem is doing too well right this moment?

I think if they were my dreams, I'd look at all the current conditions in my real life since the dreams started and see what specific problem I'm feeling helpless and angry, bitter, disappointed about. I'd try think of one thing I could do for myself to counter those feelings and help my self esteem. I don't think the recurringness will go away until you address it in your real life?

I forget. Do you have a T you could talk to about the dreams? I use to learn a lot from my dreams when I was in therapy, they would structure themselves to give me more information so it was like I could work on my issues at night too :-) Was helpful but not always fun. Some dreams are hard to face and work with but that you gave them to yourself means it's possible to work with them; your unconscious wouldn't have presented them to you in a way you couldn't or that wouldn't help if you can only decode them! Good luck.

[boodles]

Isn't it awful to try to wake up from nightmares?

I dream constantly about trying in vain to save my mother from dying (she is deceased).

And I often dream that I'm in a crisis and my family, especially my sister but often my parents, ignore me, don't support me or often directly undermine and sabotage me. Or I am invisible and no one can see or hear me, or if they can, they choose to turn away and not acknowledge my existence. In my case, I understand these dreams, unfortunately, they have a pretty literal translation to reality.

I want to wake up but keep dreaming. Then when I finally make myself wake up, I have to get up and shake it off.

I am sorry this is happening to you. You're not alone. I don't know of a remedy to offer you. The sub/unconscious mind can be pretty cruel. I sincerely believe that sleep should be an opportunity for peace.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Perna

It does sound to me like you feel you are meaningless to your family or that they are giving you a hard time or excluding you and your daughters.

But the part where "independent" people see your mom's side and turn against you, makes me feel you are not feeling very good about yourself. Since it is our own dreams we are dreaming, we set them up and are all the people in the dream. That you "let" your mother win in your dream does not sound like your self esteem is doing too well right this moment?

I think if they were my dreams, I'd look at all the current conditions in my real life since the dreams started and see what specific problem I'm feeling helpless and angry, bitter, disappointed about. I'd try think of one thing I could do for myself to counter those feelings and help my self esteem. I don't think the recurringness will go away until you address it in your real life?

I forget. Do you have a T you could talk to about the dreams? I use to learn a lot from my dreams when I was in therapy, they would structure themselves to give me more information so it was like I could work on my issues at night too :-) Was helpful but not always fun. Some dreams are hard to face and work with but that you gave them to yourself means it's possible to work with them; your unconscious wouldn't have presented them to you in a way you couldn't or that wouldn't help if you can only decode them! Good luck.

Thank you for responding Perna.

The self-esteem part of it does make sense. Yeah, it's pretty crummy. I did mention the recurrent nightmares in therapy last week, so we chatted for a little bit about them. Since they've continued, I'd imagine that we'll discuss them again this week. I do feel very low right now ~ I'm fighting the thoughts and impulses, but I do feel hopeless again.

I've pulled away so much from my family. I seriously don't want to see or talk with them. Nor do I want them to know how I am feeling. I don't want to work through these feelings that I have towards them! I want nothing to do with them ever again. Unexplainable as to why my emotions are so intense.