[OrangeMoira]

Had scary dream where I went on the Tyra show. (That's scary enough--I have social phobia and am afraid of being watched and judged.) She and her expert made fun of me for not fixing a physical flaw. I felt ashamed, like I was disgusting. I wanted to run away so they couldn't show me on TV, since I hadn't signed the release yet.

Then in the dream I thought, "I can deal with being judged. It's okay if other people criticize me--it doesn't mean it's true. I don't have to run away if I'm afraid. I can accept if the way I do something is wrong and other people notice that." I felt better and could stay on the show without running away. I woke up so happy and proud of myself, though I was kind of mad at Tyra Banks for being so mean to me in a dream!

This happened one other time when I was working on boundaries and setting limits. Dreamed I was tied up, powerless, and my mom kept hitting me. I kept crying and asking her to please stop, but she kept doing it without responding. (She never beat me in real life but hurts me in other ways and uses silence as a weapon.) Finally I said "this isn't right; you have to stop this right now." She did, and I was free.

For months I was floating because I finally felt I had the right to say no, to protect myself from being hurt, and to say what I felt. It really helped me see some of the issues I had, and I just felt different!

I wonder whether dreams are just a reflection of changes that happen inside, or if they actually cause changes? Maybe both. To me, if the dream itself is very powerful it gives me strength to be different.

[Perna]

What a great result from your dream. I think you are correct both ways with your wondering if they are the reflection of changes that happen inside or they actually cause changes.

Dreams are our own productions, come from our own heads/unconscious and are peopled with who we choose as being meaningful to us in some way. So, it is You who are changing inside but also you causing changes that you can reflect outside!

I wouldn't run out and apply to be on the Tyra show right away though Most changes require a bit of practice to get "good" at them. Just like you have to take driving lessons to become a driver, you probably have to remember you don't have to run away from being judged or when you are afraid and do that a few times before it will get easier and more natural feeling to you.