[sailboat]

I need your help interpreting this dream because I'm too caught up in my stuff to see it objectively.

Tonight I had a really bad night. I had a really bad headache when I went to bed and I was feeling nauseous but I tried to sleep anyway. I had nightmares and woke up feeling super alone. Then I remembered that they say it helps if you imagine the end of your nightmare in a positive way, it would end well. So I imagined I’d go through that really scary place I was at and come out in my safe place where T would wait (this is huge, I have never imagined T with anything that’s safe for me). Also, I have never dreamt of T before and I have extremely livid dreams where everybody plays a role that is somehow important to me. So I’ve often wondered when she would appear in my dreams.
Anyway, here's the dream:
I dreamt that I was lying on a big bed and suddenly T was on the bed with me (nothing sexual at all!) and I was just looking at her and she was smiling. Then I put my hand on what I thought was my arm but it was hers and she smiled again and put her hand on mine. That freaked me out even though in reality I wish she would hug me sometimes. She just lay there with me, stroking the back of my hand and smiling at me as if to comfort me. Then my hand started shaking because I was so uncomfortable and tried not to move and she commented on it so I said I needed to shift. Then I wanted to get up and lost my balance a bit and almost fell onto her and she thought I wanted to give her a hug and hugged me back.

It was all very confusing. I always thought I wanted a hug from her or for her to reach out to physically comfort me somehow when I’m really upset because I’m not good with accepting this ‘cool’ reactions of Ts (aka stare at me while I cry). Although I have never asked T to give me a hug and I’m not sure what she would answer. Could be a yes, could be a no.

But even though I think it would have felt good in my dream, I was way too uncomfortable to just let it be.

Do you have any idea what that dream could mean?

[Gojamadar]

Hi,
When you go to bed with a headache andnausea, you need an involved and complicated dream to take your mind off the problem. The subconscious creates the dream to divert you from physical discomforts so you can have some rest and healing during sleep.
Think of your dreams as diversion and entertainment. It is similar to when you read a book, go to the cinema or theatre; the entertainment temporarily takes your mind off your everyday woes.
The subconscious often uses your everyday thoughts and musings to create the dream, so what your thoughts are about your friend surface in your dream in one form or other.

[sailboat]

interesting! Thank you. I didn't know our mind tries to distract ourselves from physical discomforts!

T means therapist, sorry, I'm so used to abbreviate it I don't think other people don't know what it stands for.

[Perna]

Oh, what an interesting dream, your first with your T. Thank you for sharing it here.

I dreamed a lot about mine; even had one where I had my head in her lap and she was stroking my hair and another where she and another female T I'd had were in the doorways of a pair of houses and were lesbians! In a third dream, I was meeting my T for a lunch date at a stream-side restaurant and a dinosaur rose up out of the water, mouthful of plant

My T and/or my husband often showed up, or the sense of them was there, in my dreams to reassure me that it was okay to explore whatever material the dream was about. I don't know what you are in therapy for, what your issues are, but I would look at your emotions in the dream, your sense of being freaked out when you think in reality you would like a hug, etc. I would look at your sexual and sensual nature/feelings (not about T per se but in general) and how that shows itself in your day-to-world. The dream may not have anything to do with sex at all (my dream where the two T's were lesbians did not have anything to do with that but rather with my merging of my deceased mother and my stepmother, who "took her place") and range freely over your issues to see if any images, thoughts, or feelings from the dream "fit" for you (for all I know, you are missing an arm, the one she stroked :-)

But I would definitely try to tell your T your dream too; I know that can be hard because of the subject matter, but it's just a dream and she knows that very well.

[sailboat]

Thanks so much!
Haha, your dream rocks, especially the dinosaur part Also very interesting how you figured out that it wasn't sexual to you even though to me for example, it does seem sexual with lesbians and so on. Dreams are fascinating!

Originally Posted by Perna

(for all I know, you are missing an arm, the one she stroked :-)

hmmm, sorry, I don't get it.

I am pretty sure it wasn't something sexual. Can you explain more how you mean this:

I would look at your sexual and sensual nature/feelings (not about T per se but in general) and how that shows itself in your day-to-world.

[Perna]

If you were missing an arm, that would mean something different, having T stroking that arm; something like that might mean "wholeness" to you, or who knows? I don't know anything about you so my suppositions about your dream are not based in your real experience, only you and your T can have ideas on what your dream might translate to in real terms?

You have stated you wish T would actually hug you. I would look at that, "why" you would like that from that particular person (whether it is transference and you wish your parents had hugged you more, or something else again, that's why I would tell the dream to your T, she might have an interesting psychological/unconscious take on arm rubbing). Who knows, maybe you have a thing about fantasy/sci fi and believe in genies or liked the book Aladdin as a boy and unconscious hope that T rubbing your arm means that she will bring out the special/magic that is locked inside you

I don't know, either, if you do something with your arms/hands that could be significant. Think of all the expressions you can that have to do with arms/hands? Keeping someone at arm's length, being "handy", etc. What you or T might think of is more to the point than what I might think of because, I don't know you.

I took a dream course and was in a dream group once and we learned to approach other people's dreams as if they were our own and say, "If this were my dream. . ." So, I'll try that with you.

If this were my dream, I would note that I want a hug from T but have not asked her for one, am in fact keeping her at arm's length (or feel she is keeping me at arm's length?) but in the dream she is actually the one reaching out to me. I would take that to mean that I unconsciously felt that if I were to ask T for a hug, she might respond positively; that my fear of intimacy with T (intimacy being emotional closeness, not necessarily something sexual) as evidenced by my not asking for a hug or discussing my desire for a hug, is holding me back and that maybe I know unconsciously that T is willing to be there for me, will not shame me or push me away.

In short, maybe your unconscious is suggesting you discuss this with T :-)

[sailboat]

Originally Posted by Perna

only you and your T can have ideas on what your dream might translate to in real terms?

I know, but sometimes it helps to have another perspective.

Originally Posted by Perna

If this were my dream, I would note that I want a hug from T but have not asked her for one, am in fact keeping her at arm's length (or feel she is keeping me at arm's length?) but in the dream she is actually the one reaching out to me. I would take that to mean that I unconsciously felt that if I were to ask T for a hug, she might respond positively; that my fear of intimacy with T (intimacy being emotional closeness, not necessarily something sexual) as evidenced by my not asking for a hug or discussing my desire for a hug, is holding me back and that maybe I know unconsciously that T is willing to be there for me, will not shame me or push me away.

Thank you very much! This is very informative and extremely helpful! Thank you, really!
I guess I have to discuss it...


In short, maybe your unconscious is suggesting you discuss this with T :-)[/quote]

[Perna]

In light of your therapy difficulties, I would maybe think in terms of her telling you, subconsciously, that you can trust her. You found it alarming that she took your hand, rubbed your arm; think of how that actually felt, was there more than just the alarm? If it felt kind of nice, I would take a chance and talk about something(s) you have been afraid of, knowing you will feel anxious/afraid, "alarmed" at first but that in the long run it will feel good to have done so.

[sailboat]

Originally Posted by Perna

In light of your therapy difficulties, I would maybe think in terms of her telling you, subconsciously, that you can trust her. You found it alarming that she took your hand, rubbed your arm; think of how that actually felt, was there more than just the alarm? If it felt kind of nice, I would take a chance and talk about something(s) you have been afraid of, knowing you will feel anxious/afraid, "alarmed" at first but that in the long run it will feel good to have done so.

hmmm, it would have felt nice if I hadn't been so incredibly uncomfortable.
Very helpful again Perna, thank you so much! Gives me food for thought!