[Gothicapped]

I had a horrible, restless night. First off, I have bipolar disorder with pyschotic depression, PTSD, anxiety disorder, lupus, RA and fibromyalgia. I believe I am slowly going crazy. That my lover is trying to send me there, to make me go crazy and kill myself, all for his sick pleasure. That's all I dreamt about last night was persecution, lies, betrayal, evilness. I was in and out of the dreams thinking things were crawling on me and getting me. I woke up sobbing, like for sure I was gonna break. I had my cry, I snuggled up to my lover and kissed him and stroked his hair and held him. I told him I would always love him, no matter what, even if it killed me. So this is where I am at. I don't know what to do, what to trust, what to believe anymore. I just want to be happy and sane again, if it is at all possible.