[jennastars21]

Hi everyone, I'm hoping to have a recurring dream interpreted

Four years ago, the guy I was seeing died. I was friends with him for one year, then casually started seeing him for about a year before his death. We lived in different cities but he came down to stay with me every few months for a few days or a week, and we conversed daily and became quite close. Due to the long distance we were not in a serious or solid relationship but I still considered him my "boyfriend" and loved him a lot. He had been in and out of mental hospitals after attempting suicide before we dated. I knew a bit about his mental problems but did not realise the extent of them until it was too late. One day he overdosed on pills and morphine (we suspect on purpose) then after being braindead and comatose in hospital for two months he passed away.

A few times since his death, I've had dreams that are very similar. The most vivid was last night. I dreamt that instead of dying he had recovered from the coma and had returned to normal life. Then a few months after his recovery, his friends contacted me to say he had been unreachable for five days and they were concerned about his mental state, given what had happened only months earlier.

I rang him and to my surprise he answered immediately. I asked "Matt are you okay?" to which he replied in a begrudging tone "Yes, why?". Then I explained we were worried as he had been uncontactable, and given his history of suicidal thoughts, we feared that something bad had happened. He replied by getting annoyed me with me, he told me "just because I don't call you for a few days, doesn't mean I've gone off and killed myself. Why must you be so clingy and dramatic about everything?". It escalated into a tiff that lasted a few minutes. Then I woke up.

Every time I dream about him, it follows the same formula: he did not die but in fact recovered from the coma, then via the telephone we speak, and every time it is not a pleasant conversation. In each dream he states that he does not want to speak to me, or gets annoyed with me for being so emotional or clingy.

I am confused as to why I still dream about him. I feel that I am pretty much "over" his death, I still keep in touch with his family a few times a year, and of course I do think about him daily, but my thoughts are in no way consumed by his death and I feel I have "moved on" in life.

What is this dream trying to tell me?

[Thunder Bow]

The dream is telling you that you are bring to hard on yourself about your emotions.