[boredporcupine]

So yep, I dreamed I was cuddling with my T, which felt basically good. But afterwards I met up with my mom and realized my session had gone 19 minutes over (yeah, dunno why 19) and that if my mom found out we went over because we were cuddling, she would freak out about my T being unethical and make me stop going. So I was trying to figure out how to cover it up, all the while feeling uneasy about the situation, when I woke up.

In case it makes any difference, in real life I'm an adult and my mom doesn't even know I am in therapy...

Edit: I just realized if I take the time I've been in therapy and subtract out the 6-8 weeks I thought it would take when I started, it makes 19 months. Whoah.

[Perna]

Good work on the 19 months tie in :-) I was going to say the dream might have something to do with your mom when you were 19 years old, what was going on in your life during that time period.

I once had a dream where I had my head in my therapist's lap and she was stroking my hair, that was weird. It was hard to tell her about it and discuss it but enlightening too.

I guess I would look at the whole exchange and how you felt about your mom freaking out and making you stop going, having that control of what you were doing. Any thought that you should have been cuddling with your mom and your mom would be jealous? I take it your therapist is male? Maybe something about your dating and being grown up now and what your mom thinks (why have you not told her you were in therapy?)?

[boredporcupine]

Thanks, Perna. My T is female. And my mom is not a very cuddly person, so I don't know that she would be jealous per se. In the dream it was more that she disapproved on ethical grounds.

Why haven't I told her I'm in therapy? Most of the issues I had to deal with in therapy were about my mom in some way, and I didn't want her asking questions about it.

My own reading of the dream, after having more time to think about it, is that it's more about my internal conflict over being in therapy. There is a part of me that's afraid I'm only in therapy because I like my T and take pleasure in bonding with her, and disapproves of that.