[sonnenschein]

I usually dream of tests before I take them and there's one test in particular that has haunted me for the past six months or so. The dreams are classic anxiety dreams- I'm late, I don't get the questions, I'm running out of time, I'm alone, I get ridiculed by the professor, I panic and can't breathe-but they're so realistic that last time I took the test, for a moment I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. I ended up quitting halfway through because I couldn't take it anymore.

The only reason I knew I wasn't dreaming was because I was wearing a necklace I put on to remind myself that I wasn't dreaming- I never wear jewelry in dreams. Now I have to re-take the test on Thursday, but even though I know the course material almost perfectly I'm still afraid even when I just look at an older test because that's always when the panic starts in my nightmares and everything escalates.

I've even taken another, similar but harder test in between and did well on it- but I'm still afraid of this test, even though it's the easiest test for my easiest course with a really kind professor. How do I stop myself from freaking out come testing day?

[Thunder Bow]

Walk in there feeling good about yourself, knowing that all the anxiety is just illusion and memories from your past.

[unaluna]

Idk. I can handle reality in terms of test-taking. It's nightmares and actual interactions with people where I dont do so well. It sounds like the tests mean too much, like they talk too loud to you. I know that sounds weird. But do they really say anything? A question to explore maybe?

[sonnenschein]

Well, since my family went down the dumps, my friends left me and my financial situation was upended, academics are the last thing I have left.

Until a year ago, the dreams weren't as bad. I'd sort of laugh at them because I knew that the actual test would be better than my nightmares, and then I'd take the tests and ace them.

Then I started college, and the first test was even worse than my dreams- I sort of had a panic attack midway through and failed. Since then, the nightmares have been the way I described above. (And I've been failing to show up for my tests, failing to finish them or handing them in and just failing anyway)

[Thunder Bow]

You are fearing you don't deserve success. Making it to college. You feel you don't deserve college, thus the depression and panic attacks. In reality, you earned success and do deserve it.