[Yismymindblank12]

I just woke up from a very vivid dream about an hour ago. What's so weird bout my dreams it takes to real places I've never been in my life and puts me in a scenario and I have to make my own decisions like in real life. What still confuses me these dreams are very very vivid and accurate like I ended up in a small town in the countryside of my state. It's a real town Ohio very far away in my dream it was east next to Pennsylvania and West Virginia. I just looked in the area it told me where I was at on google maps and it was 100% correct on every detail. I had this all my life, when I have deja vu experiences I can guarantee that I had a dream bout this moment before of it's actual existence at some point or another in the weirdest ways. I would remember what would happen next. I don't feel like giving an explanation on this because it's too long to explain. So my dream, was traumatizing, but very accurate. It was describing a very near future where I met a girl online and it described to me on my desires on a girl I like and met online dating randomly. I was invited to meet up with her in her hometown of that area. I got to meet with her and we were friends before hand, what got messed up was something I still struggle with. It was a sex dream, but this was kinda too ****ed up. I felt so uncomfortable in it I didn't know how to take it, I just did it. Let me explain.. basically while we were talking bout our previous sex lives she invites her sister to meet up with us to take us back to the girls house. Well I find out in a very awkward way she is more sexually excited bout getting with her sister and me at the same time. I mean I couldn't say no, and we were in a public place bout this. It was pretty embarrassing I was feeling, but after I got there to get it on with her and her sister I didn't even ask for it. She and her sister tell me they want to bring their friend and her sister and it was pretty awesome! I really liked it, but what makes me uncomfortable is that. I really want that kind of relationship, but the sex part casual as it was. Like I want a true friend who is a girl, but someone I can do that with. I mean I found out I am polyamorous since I was really little. I just liked being around a lot of women. The guys at my school thought I turned gay or something, but not even close. I didn't know it at the time till this year. That I read an article bout how dreams are the extension of oneself. I literally believe that, I mean I am not much different in my dream and real life. The only difference is everyone in my dreams are actually cool people and don't make drama. I just want to know if this is normal? I mean I hate to be in a relationship where the girl I date is not even like how I want that. I mean I don't tell em, and it's hard to balance physical and emotional attraction. I just truly want to know, is it right or should I seriously consider my true feelings, bout having multiple partners and relationships at one time. I mean I don't condone polygamy I don't like it at all. I don't have to be married to have multiple female intimate relationships, I just want what I just saw. Idk someone please help me on a concise answer? I'm 19 yr old male bout to be 20. I have a lot of female friends than male now. I feel like this probably will come true in a near future don't know when, because of the likely hood how I feel of it. I just feel uncomfortable because of the stigma people have on polyamory and they don't understand, I am capable of intimate relationships with women and trusting all of them together not separated like I want to cheat on women. What I get depressed and sad about, I don't have the freedom to be me, I am around so many friends and family who say, " If you do that I'll disown you, you're a man *****, no one loves you cause I think you're a compulsive cheater(btw which was actually the opposite I got cheated on more than anything else.), you only want sex from me, since you aren't bisexual you shouldn't have these feelings, and so on." Is it so bad of a stigma for the general population to disagree with me if I was born to disagree with them, because of my true feelings. I mean I'm a straight male, and when people associated that with my feelings on it in which I rarely tell people because no one really knows how this feeling of emptiness with one relationship is for me. I dated a lot of girls and much more secure with this since ever, than just one. I don't know why, but I do. I know I put a lot down here it's a difficult subject to comprehend with societal norms and stuff. This is the last sentence, because it really hurts and I want to have a fulfilling relationship for life that I want not what someone else wants even if I am dating them. I just want to be accepted. That's all thankyou....