[emptyandhostile-]

i was drinking a lot of beer at the bar last night, and after coming home to sleep with my boyfriend I had the strangest dream last night that is still bothering me.

The reason I was admitted to the psych ward (which was sort of like a group home i don't know what you would call it) was because I was walking around outside with no pants or underwear on. A bunch of doctors/cops i believe were surrounding me, and I started freaking out my boyfriend was there at the time. My mother took me along with a staff from the group home to a dollarstore and started buying me things (hygiene products etc) and I was really confused at the time, and then i realized I was going to be admitted somewhere and I had no choice to be there. I was confused on why I was there and wanted to leave/run away , I was telling off one of the staff there, and she told me I hit her and showed me her cut/bruise and I didn't remember doing It and felt awful/crazy.

I remember hating it there, and missing my boyfriend, and i was walking around in a park at one point and I saw this guy and I was sort of drawn towards him. at another point in my dream I was In a park with a bunch of people and that same guy had a gun, and started shooting this guy and going crazy. Everyone had to duck down with their head covered on the grass because bullets were flying everywhere I actually recall seeing one hit the ground near me. I was crawling further away trying not to be noticed on the grass. I was terrified I was trying to hide behind people. I can't remember if the gun was ever pointed at me at that point. Anyways that same guy ended up breaking into the group home which was a huge house, and threatening people, we were all hiding in different rooms. I was hiding in a small bedroom by myself and him and two other bigger dudes ended up finding me. He sat there and basically went on about how we was going to rape me and what he wanted me to do. he basically ended up running the group home, and staff were terrified of him so he let him do whatever, we oddly enough ended up dating. we had sex in my dream and i was terrified it wasn't going to be what he was expecting. later on in my dream me and my boyfriend (my real life one lol) had sex, and I couldn't get off, and he stopped having sex with me and I got really angry and I was really unsatisfied.

It was just an odd dream. I was trying to figure out this morning if it reflected on how i feel every day, maybe feeling trapped in this city? not really knowing anyone and being too broke to ever go out and do things? feeling unsatisfied with my present love life? feeling like my love life is toxic and dangerous ?
I usually have really lucid dreams. before most of my dreams had to do with traveling, and being in another country. maybe i just have a bad case of wanderlust? what do you think ?

[Thunder Bow]

You were feeling trapped in yourself. What was going on inside, are all the feelings that are going on inside of you.